I think it has been made perfectly clear, I am sour on men and dating. The last time I went out on dates it was sooo horrible that basically I plan never ever to leave my couch/puppy combination. They are reliable and dependable unlike opposite sex. (Still bitter can you tell?) However, I have the biggest crush on Jonathan Rhys Meyers. For him.. The lengths I would go to would be legendary. 

I loved watching the Tudors not only due to the great story lines but the eyecandy was second to none.

He can be my king any day. Around him I would totally loose my head!
I can't wait for the new season of the Tudors to start! I need my weekly fix! 

Spring 2010 can't come fast enough!

Till season 4 starts, I shall fantasize about JRM sitting on my couch with me and the puppykins
yummy yum yummmmmmm!

I was at work the other night and mentioned I had a crush on a co worker who wasn't the same race as I was. BOY OH HOWDY! The flood gates opened and I was verbally lashed and made to feel like a traitor for being attracted to him. (sidebar he is tall, scruffy in a sexy way, in excellent shape, and handsome as all get out)  When people get all up in arms about interracial dating I wonder about their personal lives. How empty they must be to be so overly concerned about what someone else is doing. WHO THE HELL CARES? Handsome is handsome. Smart is smart. No particular race dominion over these traits.  This rant is brought to you due to working with a slew of people who are so very against interracial dating, I was rendered speechless. If it is not for you, it is not for you. However, you may not hold the rest of society to your personal standards and expectations. What makes it worse is when you pontificate your vile remarks in mixed company without knowing without a 100% shadow of a doubt where everyone stands. The moment you walk away, we are trashing you. Believe it. I am pretty ambiguous about what race I am on twitter as well as my blog however, I am a minority. Every day I walk the tightrope of being a minority in a majority ruled society. Many times dominant culture doesn't reflect my personal views however I do not feel as if it is my right to tell people they are wrong. What hurts me most is when other minorities spew vile stereotypes about other minorities. As if they themselves seemed to have conveniently forgotten what it is like to be judged immediately on a misguided stereotype. When it comes to dating, I am like Jessie Jackson's Rainbow Coalition. I doubt there is a country that hasn't been "visited" by me. In all of this exploration, I learned a lot. Opened my eyes more. Dispelled firmly held stereotypes. Became a better person. Before the phrase "I would never date ______" leaves your lips, take time out and think about who you are speaking to. More than likely, they have or are currently dating the person you are so quick to exclude in your small thinking, boxed in, homogeneous life. If I didn't work with said hottie co worker.. He would have been another flag on my map of must have men.  He is absolutely delicious no matter what race he is.

Every month Oprah publishes a list of 10 things she knows for sure in her magazine. In the spirit of Oprah my leader, I also constructed a list of 10 things I know for sure. I encourage you to make your own list. 

10 Things Oracle Knows for Sure

  1. Hard work gets you more hard work.
  2. Some people's taste is only in their mouths and even that is questionable.
  3. When you are the smartest person in the room, you also win the prize of being the most lonely.  Everyone else is going to bore you to tears. 
  4. My puppy loves me unconditionally. I feed him.
  5. A stinky mood can be fixed through music and aromatherapy. If that doesn't work try Jack Daniels and a Xanax.
  6. White shoes should only be worn by a nurse.
  7. Drinking soda turns you into a fatass. Also candy, cookies, chips, and everything else delicious does as well.
  8. True love is easily found. Namely at DSW or the Gucci store. 
  9. Someone who is excellent in bed is rarely good at much else. They can completely rely on their skills in the sack. When you are on the top of the food chain you care little about cultivating a personality.
  10. Money is not the root of all evil, yet lack of money is the root of all crime. 
Dear Universe,

There are times I wonder if I am living the life I am supposed to be living. Like.. You know.. Some Matrix type stuff of Physics String Theory shit. Seriously. Can this really be MY life? Are you serious universe? Hello! Do you hear me? I am bored as hell and my life is nothing less than a snooze fest most of the time. I had an amazing childhood. Even my early adulthood rocked, but since the marriage and subsequent divorce I am CONVINCED somehow.. Somewhere.. Someone ELSE is living my AB FAB life and I am stuck with their mundane uber average extraordinarily ordinary ho hum life. It isn't fair. It just isn't fair I say! Hey Universe.. I want to do trade backs! There is no way I could have peaked early in life and since 30 I am in a down hill slide death roll into pedestrianess. There is NO DAMN WAY! I am too amazingly fabulous! I know this because I know ME. So what the hell? This is just a friendly reminder that it is Oracle you are dealing with and you need to treat me accordingly. Please schedule dissociative fugue so that I can walk away from all this plain mundane into the life of magical wonder of which I was destined to live. I do not mind forgetting the ghastly marriage either. We can call it even. 
Warm Regards,

It is no secret the show Jersey Shore on MTV sucked me in. Each week the "characters" managed to either provide some soundbite worthy of committing to memory OR something major happened which was discussed at work for hours and hours. We even watched the show AT work which is a major NO NO. If we got caught, let's just say it would have been curtains for Oracle and crew. So. Jersey Shore. I understand people FROM New Jersey hate hate hate the show. They believe it is not an accurate representation of people from New Jersey. Also, Italian Americans are up in arms as well. To tell you the truth.. It is not that serious people. After the Soprano's the rest of America had out opinions set about people from New Jersey and there was nothing The Situation, JWOWW, Snookie, DJ Paulie D, Vinnie or the rest of the cast could have done to make it worse. So as I watch the reunion show, I am left with great sadness as the show is over and I am without my weekly entertainment. Jersey Shore picked up where the Real World left off years ago. The Real World lost it's edge with boring forgettable characters and desperately thrown together hodge podge snooze worthy story lines. Thank you MTV for creating a "reality show" that was actually entertaining in a guilty pleasure sorta way. Too bad I do not feel guilty about watching it at all. Right now I am fist pumping my heart out in your honor.

This was considered a make over of the cast?

I am a workaholic and I know it. It was predestined for me to be a workaholic.. I was born in the year of the Ox. We have a high propensity for working. When other's throw in the towel exhausted, that is when I am hitting my stride. Back in college I had two jobs and attended classes. Even in grad school I worked, sold stuff on e-bay, and tutored. I haven't isolated if I like working for work's sake or I am into it for the financial gain. It could be a combination of both. Lately I am starting to feel as if my life is passing me by in a haze. I am spending so much time at my multiple places of employment, I feel as if I am missing out on   adventures. The other night I was driving to my night job and the song Spaceship by Kanye West came on my iPod.

"I've been workin' this graveshift and I ain't made shit
I wish I could buy me a spaceship and fly past the sky"

 It sorta hit me. What the hell am I working so hard for? What am I trying to prove? Honestly, the more hours I put in, the more I justify making extravagant purchases. Like about an hour ago I was checking out Gucci handbags online wondering which one I should get. If I worked less and made less money I would spend less and live life more. So. Perhaps I am going to work less going forth into the new year. PERHAPS. Right after I get that Gucci handbag and perhaps a new iPod nano....

Getting to know Frasier has been a process. We have been together for three weeks and boy oh boy this puppy is serving as birth control. It has been over 15 years since I've had a puppy and he is making me earn my stripes. Things I took for granted with Willie, I have to teach Frasier. The first time I tried to walk him on a leash he sat his rump down and I ended up dragging him through Pet Smart. I was mildly embarrassed as I attempted to shop with a little dog screeching and fighting me the entire time. However, I used psychology and refused to give in and pick him up. I did not want to set the precept that if he protested enough I would give in to his wishes. We have been "walking" on the leash daily and it seems he has gotten used to it. Unlike Willie, he seems to be rather unimpressed with taking a daily walk. I am still stunned. Frasier is a different dog with a completely different personality which I cognitively understand, however I expected him to waltz in and take the place of my beloved Willie without any issues. That was foolish of me by far.

So Frasier the Boston Terrier puppy is not Willie the Springer Spaniel and I am slowly letting go of the expectation Frasier is the new Willie. Frasier is talkative. He yips, mews, barks, and growls his every thought. Frasier doesn't mind eating dry dog food. He actually enjoys it. (I am already redirecting the extra money I spent on canned dog food to shoes and handbags) Frasier has toys galore. Upstairs toys. Downstairs toys. Outside toys. They are kept in various baskets and as soon as I put them up, he drags them out and scatters them all over the place. My OCD is in overdrive. Frasier seems to find anything and everything I do NOT want him to have. Rubber bands, plastic bottle caps, straws, ketchup packets, lost earrings, necklaces, shoes, socks, you name it. I spend a great portion of my day redirecting him by removing his pirate treasure from his mouth and replacing it with one of his toys. Frasier is a hellion when you give him a bath. He fought me so hard during his bath (which is going to just have to get used to) that afterwards we both had a nap. I also had 2 shots of Jack Daniels to calm my nerves. Frasier is a puppy so just like a baby, he is discovering the world through his mouth. I am finding bite marks on EVERYTHING! Frasier also needs to go out many many many times a day, yet still there are accidents in the house. I have already used up a giant bottle of Nature's Miracles. I admit he is a lot of work, but I am loving (most of the time) working with him. The look of pure joy on his face when I get home, chasing him around the room with his toys, taking his walk/drags daily, dancing with him, are just a few of the many many delights of having the puppy. Each day he does something which makes me laugh like a loon. I am grateful for Frasier coming into my life however, he will never ever take the place of Willie, and now I know not to expect him to.

I have been told numerous times that I am superstitious. Well if my childhood is taken into account, it makes perfect sense that I have a tendency to be overly cautious when it comes to what is considered lucky and unlucky. Number one I was born in Asia. There are so many rules and regulations concerning what will bring luck and what will detract from it, people make entire careers off of advising others on luck. Through my travels I have picked up all sorts of habits and beliefs here and there and damn near everywhere which I have woven into my daily life. The crux of these ideals, for lack of a better term, is the amount of attention I pay to moon phases. I keep track of the waxing, waning, new, and full moon phases like people track their checking account balances. I keep abreast of everything that is connected to the moon because in my belief system, the moon has a lot to do with human behavior. I won't delve too deep into my thoughts but I will give a basic correlation so that you know where I am coming from. The tides of the ocean and the moon are very much in congruency with each other. The earth is made up of about 70% water. So the moon has control over our environment, that is unless you do not live in planet earth.  The moon and water are close bedfellows. Under this dictate,  humans are composed of a high percentage of water. So.. If the moon is connected to large bodies of water, then surely smaller bodies of water, or the human body is also influenced by the moon. Hence why behavior seems to change drastically when there is a full moon amiss. To me, a new moon is the symbol of new possibilities. It is a fresh start and as the moon waxes, we have the opportunity to manifest anything we want to change about ourselves as the power of the moon grows within ourselves and culminates on the night of the full moon.  WIth this in mind, tonight is the first night of the new moon in the new year. I am going to manifest changes in my life which will come to ahead on the night of the full moon. I would spell them out in this blog, but I don't want to jinx it. After all.. I am superstitious.


Ok. WoW! Usually I do not gain weight during the holidays. Last year I even managed to loose about 10 pounds between December and January. No so this year sporty! I have no idea what happened, well I have SOME idea, but somewhere between the turkey, ribs, steak, tacos, ham, and too many sweets to list I have gained 8 pounds. Technically I could have gained more but the story is 8 pounds and I am sticking to it.

Well. So here I am with the new thinner clothes not fitting exactly correctly. Ok. Let me be honest. They are killing me. Most of the pants cut of my circulation and the tops sadly make me look like a cheaper Dolly Pardon. So. I think it is time to put the cupcake down, my iPod up, and make time to go to the gym again. Damn the cold weather. After all.. If I keep going on in the direction I am headed I will end up looking like this

Sans baby. The pregnant look can be sexy, if you are actually pregnant. However, if you have that bloated belly look due to lip smacking snacking, it is not a good look. Oracle is officially back on the wagon. No more justification of winter weight. In 2 months I will be back to my normal weight and feeling great. Damn I am going to miss the cupcake of the day. Le sigh. Oh well.

I just wanted to add this Dove advertisement for kicks. To me they are correct. This is what real beauty looks like. Not super skinny women whose bones rub together or women who look like Skeletor. Women with curves are lovely. Stick figures are ugly.

During the winter months we are all guilty of letting certain things go by the wayside. In honor of the cold front, I have compiled a list of the top ten things that I personally have let go thanks to the cold weather and sheer laziness.  I am sure as soon as the weather warms up I shall resume said listed actions but till then, the hell with it.

Top Ten Things Oracle Doesn't Care About When It Is Cold

1. Shaving my legs- who the hell is going to see them anyway underneath all the layers?

2. Getting bi-weekly pedicures- yet again.. socks or tights. no need to premier fancy toes when they could fall off due to freezing?

3. Eating healthy- uh. I want carbs and meat when it is cold. Food that sticks with you rather than fruit or salad. Give me chili, pot roast, mashed potatoes, stew, roasted chicken, warm apple pie..

4. Getting my car washed weekly- for some reason cars do not stay clean during the winter months. It seems to be an unwritten rule.

5. Going to the gym- I bypass the gym in leu of burrowing under blankets and watching copious amounts of television eating said fatty heavy food.

6. Actively look for another job- I have no intention of getting all gussied up for a job interview when I am freezing my life away. Dress clothes are never warm.. ever.

7. Wearing make-up- Although I am a very girly girl girl, all make up application come to a halt in the winter. It is hard enough keeping your skin from being dry and ashy. No energy to paint up a rusty canvas.

8. Wearing anything outside of jeans and sweats- This is an all time lazy move on my part. I just don't have the energy to put together a cute cold weather outfit. I am dressing for comfort and warmth only. Not to showboat all cold to impress other shivering people.

9. Running any errands which are not essential- If I don't need it to survive, or I can't order it online, I do not want it. Going out to a store in this weather is as pleasurable as sitting in a deep freezer in a bikini.

10. Being social- going out with friends encompasses several of these don't do rules. Shaving legs, make- up, cute outfits, getting car washed, pulling myself away from the tv. It is just not worth the effort when the tv doesn't care what the hell I look like.

Upon reading this list, it is overly apparent I have just justified being a fat, gluttonous, lazy, sloppy, hermit with hair ass legs. And I am perfectly ok with it.
I previously wrote a post about getting a new Boston Terrier puppy. Well he is home and it was quite an ordeal. I should have known something was shady about the "breeder" when the price of the puppy changed several times. When I first contacted her about her upcoming litter of puppies, she quoted me one price then after the litter had been delivered, the price of the puppy went up. I was so wrapped up in excitement over getting a puppy born 7 days before my birthday that I overlooked the warning signs. I sent my deposit and patiently waited for him to be ready for pick up. In the mean time, I showed the website to my best friend. She IMMEDIATELY called the place a puppy mill and had other choice jokes connected with this "breeder". Here are a few pieces of her handy work.

After viewing this picture, I began to change my mind. Anne had taken MORE time than I had to look at  the website. Since she already had my money, I started to justify my decision to continue with the purchase of the boston terrier puppy. Well.. Flash forward to December. The "breeder" contacted me and wanted to know when I would be picking up the puppy since she had two.. yes TWO new litters coming in December. The puppy was born November 10th.. She wanted me to pick him up December 20th. Call me crazy but I thought it was too early. The puppy was barely 6 weeks old. I consulted Anne as I always do and she stressed I needed to "liberate the puppy from the puppy mill ASAP before he is scarred for life". I drove in the snow (in Texas no less) for 5 hours only to arrive at a shanty which I was SURE wasn't her house. It was in the middle of nowhere and falling down. For the prices she is charging for these puppies, her home should have been a palace.  I climbed up the cinderblock which I suppose was the step and knocked on a door soo rickety it opened. Out comes this loud, cigarette smoke scented, skeleton of a woman. She quickly ushered me into the "house" and down a "hallway" into a room which contained several cages with dogs and a suspect space heater. The house was so chilly I didn't dare remove my coat. Then.. I saw him. My puppy was in a pen covered in poo and mewing his life away. I wanted to snatch my baby up and race out of the house, however I needed to settle up with this woman. She gave me all sorts of paperwork which under different circumstances I would have believed were on the up and up. Since they are connected to her, I am sure they are worth the paper they are printed on. Then she snatched the cash out of my hand and greedily counted it in front of me. I was led back to the dog dungeon holding my breath all the while. She scooped up the puppy and I wrapped him up in the blanket I brought as he was filthy and shivering. I barely said goodbye as I leaped off her porch and ran to my car with my baby. As soon as the car was a few miles down the road I pulled over to inspect him and give him a quick bath. Lo and behold.. He was COVERED in FLEAS! I had the foresight to bring flea spray. The poor puppy was doused within an inch of his life with the stuff and I GPSed the closest Pet Smart. Once there I raced in and pleaded my case to the wonderful women in the grooming center. They took pity on me and gave him a bath. During the time he was getting all gussied up I threw away the first blanket and purchased another. I am convinced it was flea infested. When I picked him up, he was the cutest sweetest smelling puppy ever. And it was right then, I fell in love.

 I have barely had the puppy a week and he is the sunshine in my life. He makes me smile and laugh all day long with his antics. I am sure to blog about the silly stuff he does. I reported the "breeder" to the humane society by the way. I hope they shut that puppy mill down. I am thankful for my little baby but do not want another dog to suffer the way I know they are suffering under her "care". I might have bought a dog from a "breeder" but in all reality I rescued a puppy. He came from a puppy mill but I have nothing but puppy love for him.

Outfit by AnneKinLa
I admit.. I spend waaaay too much time on twitter. However, many of the people I tweet with I feel have become my internet friends and family. There are days in which I do not quite feel complete without talking with certain people online about well.. absolutely nothing. But that is the beauty of it. Talking about absolutely nothing allows people to let their guard down and just be themselves. So in turn, I have very genuine uncomplicated relationships with people on twitter.

It was through one of these twitterships that I was the recipient of such a random act of kindness I was brought to tears. One of the people I tweet with knows so much about me that she sent me a box of holiday treats! Not just ANY treats mind you.. Treats I like. I suppose I tweet about cookies and cupcakes enough to get a rep as a sweets addict of some sort. Which is actually true. I am. But I digress. This absolutely wonderful person does not know who I am outside of the constraints of the twitterverse yet, she took the time to mail me such a lovely gift that it put me in the spirit of giving and passing on the holiday spirit. So. Although, the holidays have passed, I challenge all of us to each week do one small or large if you are feeling randy, act of kindness. It will make you feel so much better. Who knows? If we keep passing around the vibe of goodness the world will eventually be a better place in no time. Whenever I perform my acts of random kindness I say I am doing a Pink Cupcake. One kindness at a time to be passed on. They always come back to you, twofold sweeter than ever.