During the winter months we are all guilty of letting certain things go by the wayside. In honor of the cold front, I have compiled a list of the top ten things that I personally have let go thanks to the cold weather and sheer laziness.  I am sure as soon as the weather warms up I shall resume said listed actions but till then, the hell with it.

Top Ten Things Oracle Doesn't Care About When It Is Cold

1. Shaving my legs- who the hell is going to see them anyway underneath all the layers?

2. Getting bi-weekly pedicures- yet again.. socks or tights. no need to premier fancy toes when they could fall off due to freezing?

3. Eating healthy- uh. I want carbs and meat when it is cold. Food that sticks with you rather than fruit or salad. Give me chili, pot roast, mashed potatoes, stew, roasted chicken, warm apple pie..

4. Getting my car washed weekly- for some reason cars do not stay clean during the winter months. It seems to be an unwritten rule.

5. Going to the gym- I bypass the gym in leu of burrowing under blankets and watching copious amounts of television eating said fatty heavy food.

6. Actively look for another job- I have no intention of getting all gussied up for a job interview when I am freezing my life away. Dress clothes are never warm.. ever.

7. Wearing make-up- Although I am a very girly girl girl, all make up application come to a halt in the winter. It is hard enough keeping your skin from being dry and ashy. No energy to paint up a rusty canvas.

8. Wearing anything outside of jeans and sweats- This is an all time lazy move on my part. I just don't have the energy to put together a cute cold weather outfit. I am dressing for comfort and warmth only. Not to showboat all cold to impress other shivering people.

9. Running any errands which are not essential- If I don't need it to survive, or I can't order it online, I do not want it. Going out to a store in this weather is as pleasurable as sitting in a deep freezer in a bikini.

10. Being social- going out with friends encompasses several of these don't do rules. Shaving legs, make- up, cute outfits, getting car washed, pulling myself away from the tv. It is just not worth the effort when the tv doesn't care what the hell I look like.

Upon reading this list, it is overly apparent I have just justified being a fat, gluttonous, lazy, sloppy, hermit with hair ass legs. And I am perfectly ok with it.

Comments (5)

On January 9, 2010 at 3:07 PM , Ashley said...


On January 9, 2010 at 4:07 PM , feministified said...

haha, love your open honesty. too funny :)

On January 10, 2010 at 7:50 AM , Liv said...

This is not allowed. You have to do better.

On January 10, 2010 at 6:14 PM , Ari said...

True that!! :)

On January 24, 2010 at 3:01 PM , C... said...

Ha! I like your list!