It is no secret I am addicted to to reality TV. I don't know if it is the psych in me who loves to analyze things (I fully know this crap is scripted) or just a voyeuristic urge to peek into the lives of extremely lackadaisical overly primped, plucked, plastic surgeried and painted women. I spend hours upon hours on twitter pointing and laughing about the pure fuckery these bitches allow to be filmed each week. Annnnd it all started with a little show on Bravo called The Real Housewives of OC.
These women had NO idea what they started. Five women living the life in Coto de Caza, Orange County letting a camera crew film their lives then cleverly edit and splice story lines together to make them look even more foolish and desperate than they could accomplish on their own. We have the bitchy villain Vikki Gunvalson, the sexy young gold digger with a heart Jo De La Rosa, the businesswoman turned super mom Kymberly Bryant, high end real estate agent with the out of control kids and the Playboy past Jeana Keough, and lastly the single mom with dreams of marrying up Lauri Waring. Who knew the lives of suburban women raising families would be more interesting. Little did we know these pampered princesses lived lives like the rest of us. Job losses, humongous debt due to living outside of their means, foreclosure, cheating spouses, sexless marriages, serious illness, terminal cancer, work schedules so packed they barely parent their children... the list goes on and on..
I will say out of the flames of poverty Lauri rose like a gold digging Phoenix and managed to marry a millionaire. She accomplished the Pretty Woman dream.
From OC more cities were recruited to embarrass their citizens through the absurdness of the behavior of bored ass "housewives".
Much to my delight.. The Real Housewives moved to my favorite place in the world.. NEW YORK CITY! I loved everything! It filled my need for a NY fix since Sex in the City left me like a disgruntled lover in the middle of the night. Watching these women navigate the streets of Manhattan in black towncars and seeing the skyline of NYC almost made Texas tolerable for one hour a week. Then.. The CAT FIGHTS started. No woman can brawl like a chick from NYC. NO WOMAN! In Real Housewife fashion there were spats between the women over basically nothing.. A slight here a jab there. Out of no where powie! Nude photos of Alex McCord from the past surfaced, after seeing them I wish they had stayed buried. Bethenny Frankel ran off a sorta fiancee and he eventually lost his job. She eventually snagged a husband, baby, and her own spin off show. Jill Zarin started off as the warmhearted momma of the bunch then before our eyes turned into a mean girl clicky bitch. Countess uh can we call her Countess now? Um.. LuAnne de Lesseps husband the Count dumped her for some African princess and she was catapulted out of her posh Manhattan townhouse into her just as cushy home in exile in the Hamptons. Then horror of horrors.. She started singing. Money may not be able to buy you class but it can provide voice lessons. Ramona Singer with the crazy eyes and always saying the wrong thing at the right time provided hours of entertainment.
My very favorite moment of all time from the NY cast was when Kelly Bensimon went nuts in the Caribbean.. EPIC! With pictures like this it is HARD to believe she was/is a model.
They recently had a casting call for Houston. I can't wait to see who will step off of the Preposterous Train in the Lone Star State. Chances are.. It is going to be hilarious. My finger is ready for pointing and I'm ready to laugh.