Sooo yeah.. I picked up a part time job at Macy's to quell the credit card debt. So far I am doing pretty good about not spending a ton of money at the old J-O considering I REFUSE to buy clothes until I lose weight. However, perfume and cosmetics always fit so I find myself lusting after Chanel Rouge Allure lipgloss and Michael Kors perfume. My willpower is being tested every time my heels tap through the doors. Buuuuut anyway this post is about Black Friday and the mayhem which ensued today.

Macy's opened at 4AM this morning. Most of my co-workers are tucked snugly in their beds at 4AM but for me that is Prime Time at the Nut Hut.. Needless to say I was ELATED to find myself scheduled to open the store. Then.. I was frightened.

For years I have watched the type of madness Black Friday entails. People camping outside of stores to be in the first wave of shoppers to get the greatest bargain. Hoards of shoppers grabbing and snatching merchandise that no doubt will be returned sometime during the months of January or February. Yet, each year die hard shoppers, their families, and significant others brave the over crowded stores, parking lots filled to capacity, and tired over it sales associates to find the perfect gift for the perfect price.

When I pulled up blasting Jay Z at 3:30 this morning I was STUNNED to see a line of people out in THE RAIN wrapped around the building. For a second I thought perhaps Jesus scheduled a Miracle Giveaway in the store and no one told me. As I made my way to the employee entrance my fascination grew exponentially when people started asking me questions about where certain items were located in the store. As if it was a treasure hunt and I had valuable clues to help them in their quest. Once again accustomed to being awake at this hour I was more friendly and cordial than I would be at sayyyy about 3PM but we will get to that.

Inside the store was buzzing with activity and most of the employees were hype. Especially ones who work in commission departments (ME).  The lights had barely come on when the floodgates opened and people started racing into the store. I WAS HORRIFIED! The only thing that can come close to the stampede of shoppers is the running of the bulls in Spain. For once I was thankful the jewelry department associates are safely behind a locked gate. There were people everywhere! The escalator had so many people on it I thought I had been transported to an amusement park and the escalator was the feature ride attraction.

From 4 to 1 there were non-stop people! I doubt I have ever worked harder or more efficiently in my life. And.. It PAID OFF.. Literally. No.. Seriously. Technically I am considered an "on-call" employee. (basically I work for my discount but not enough to be hounded about sales goals and clientele) I outsold all of the other employees by laps. The full time women are some of the highest sellers in the company and have the accouterments to prove it. All sorts of stars and plaques commending them for their ability to part a fool *ahem* customer and their money. I killed them. I totally killed them. I have no idea if it was pure motivation, or my sense of competitiveness but I felt we were all on an even playing field and they were going down. And they did. All of them. In flames.

Were my phenomenal sales due to my charming personality? Or could it have been I was just lucky? Or perhaps my super psych abilities were running in overdrive? Who knows? I DO know I made my sales goal by 287% and that is all that matters as once again.. I work in a COMMISSION department. CHA-CHING!!! Needless to say by the time my shift ended at 4; I was exhausted, my feet were killing me from wearing 6 inch platform sparkly heels, I was starving but too tired to figure out what I wanted to eat, and most of all... SICK OF TALKING! I plan on spending all of Saturday in bed as I wisely took the night off from the Nut Hut in anticipation of my patience being completely drained.

So Black Friday.. A day when all retail establishments books go from being in the red to being in the black. Retail heaven and I was a well dressed angel. Instead of spending copious amounts of money, I actually made money so for me it was a win win winnah!


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