The *cough* great state of Texas hasn't been good to me. Basically, since I have been here I have endured heartache and pain.. Trials and tribulations.. Struggles and more struggles.. All my hard work has garnered... MORE HARD WORK.. I feel like a modern day Ulysses and being in Texas is my Trojan War.. Getting home is my Odyssey.. The East Coast is my Ithaca.
I could give a detailed accounting of how much Texas has sucked but it would take hours to type out all of the horrors I have endured while I am here.. I am not in the mood to type until my fingers bleed so I will keep it brief.
TOP TEN SUCKY THINGS THAT HAPPENED WHILE IN TEXAS
- Journey to Houston took 2 days, numerous arguments, threats to turn around, and a host of other complications.
- Finding out I married basically a total stranger who bitched with the efficiency of a pissed off mother.
- My beloved Volvo died which forced me to get a new car subsequently a car payment after years of payment free living.
- HURRICANE IKE.
- Numerous mental break downs and piecing myself together with Xanax and wine.
- Deciding to stop self medicating with Xanax and wine.
- Death of Willie the greatest dog in the world. More Xanax and wine.
- Death of my already on life support sex life.
- Living in a house I absolutely hate.
Sooo yeah.. Texas has sucked 4 good years out of me with the productivity of a starving vampire. You gotta know when to hold um and know when to fold um. The universe is obviously sending me a clear message. Kinda like in the Amityville Horror.. When the people walked in the house and the scary voice said "Get OUT" they stayed.. Only to suffer catastrophe after calamity. I think I kinda didn't listen to the GET OUT voice when I got here. For years I kept plugging away trying to scratch out a life in a place hostile to me. When I could have saved myself all kinds of quandaries by listening to the initial warning.
Well universe.. Lesson learned.. I will listen next time and stop usurping your wisdom for mine. As it is obvious and abundantly clear I am not wise nor full of as much enlightenment as I like to think I have. So in the words of the great Kenny Rodgers.. I know when to walk away and I know when to RUN.. Right back to the East Coast..
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