Years ago divorced women were considered a social pariah. Someone to either be stoned to death or taken to the edge of the village. Loose women who are unscrupulously after married men. (Not as if said married men don’t actively participate but I digress) These days being divorced has taken on a new tone. True. In some social circles, when someone gets divorced the circle closes and squeezes the divorcee out. Then again, when you are not part of a couple why do couply things? It is ridiculous. 50% of first marriages end in divorce and 67% of second marriages end in divorce, soo yeah.. Lots of divorced people running around. Hard to treat all these women like the Scarlet Harlot since they are everywhere.
When you get married, the thought of divorce should never be in the back of your mind. I suppose I am different. It was in the VERY front of mine. When I said “I Do”, I knew it wasn’t going to be the last time I said this phrase. I’ve always known my first marriage would end in divorce.
I suppose knowing that my first marriage would fail, lessened the pain of divorce. A very close friend of mine is also getting divorced and her journey is far different than mine. She cried when she left him. I cried at the thought of staying with him. His actions hurt her emotionally. I was just annoyed. I never took his BS personally as I knew it was him not me who was crazy. I would have left even faster however; due to being financially tied together I couldn’t get away.
Where am I now? Happily building the life I wanted to have but was restrained from obtaining. Luckily I am not suffering from the negative emotional ramifications of divorce. My self-esteem is not shaken at all. I don’t feel like a stigma is attached to me NOR do I feel like another failed statistic. I feel like a pearl. A beautiful baroque pearl. Layer upon beautiful layer, which ends in a magnificent patina. I glow. I shine. I have luster all of my own. I am lovely in my imperfection.
I am not going to use this post to trash my ex. I’ve done it enough. It is out of my system. HE is out of my system. My spirit has gotten to a place where I can thank him for all the experiences we went through together. I am a stronger more clever person. I have learned patience. I have learned humility. But one thing I didn’t learn, I am NOT damaged because I am divorced. Instead I am fortified.