I am the biggest stress case you would ever want to meet. Given my chosen profession that sounds ridiculous. I dole out advice on how to de-stress all the time. (I'm good at it too) It is even more ludicrous considering I am a lazy Buddhist as well. I am so uptight and stressy at night my head doesn't even touch the pillow. I sorta hover over the mattress like the chick in the exorcist or a cheesy Vegas magic trick. I have lists and lists and lists of things I worry about all the time. Like stomach in knots worry. Many of the things are legitimate, however PLENTY of them are just plain silly. I consider myself to be extremely rational, yet these subsidiary worry lists beguiles all rationality. So. I have decided to make a list of things I worry about which I shall discontinue worrying about. (I am also very organized)
Things Oracle is NOT going to Worry about Anymore
or at least attempt to stop worrying about
- Falling in love
- Not falling in love
- Knowing what love feels like so that I know if 1 or 2 has happened
- Meeting and marrying a Jewish Dentist
- Creating the perfect play lists for my iPod
- If I am going to see Prince in concert again before he dies I got robbed by MJ
- Paying off ALL of my credit cards (I might take this off the list)
- Why my brother is such an ass
- Worrying about what D thinks about me/ Worrying that D doesn't think about me
- Waiting for Satan to drag my ex-husband back to hell from whence he came
- Why didn't I just get an iPhone like I wanted
- Wondering if the clothes I donated to Goodwill go to a good home (most of them were from Nordstrom or Banana Republic)
- What my dog is doing in heaven without me, we need each other
- How much happier I would have been if I had never gotten married
- If string theory is correct, what are the other Mes doing right now
- If time travel will ever happen
- Why did I major in psychology when people actually get on my nerves and I am only in it for the scratch
- Why can't I predict the future on a more consistent basis
- What happened to all the naps I was unable to take
- Why isn't there a Sprinkles Cupcakes in Houston (WTH)
- If I will ever get all my money back from my slackalicious ex (signs point to no)
- Why am I only really attracted to men from Brooklyn which is a bad thing because they ALL have game
- Trying to master the universe and bend it to my will
- The laundry pile that never seems to get COMPLETELY done
- When the economy will pick up so I can get a maid again
- Why the show Girlfriends got rid of the only good character Tony Childs, and why everyone keeps comparing the two of us
- What is Beyonce doing with MY MAN Jay Z (also a man from Brooklyn)
- When am I going to get that damn Gucci watch I have been lusting after
- Getting down to my high school weight of 106 (new goal is 130)
- If my spelling ability will ever improve
6:24 AM |
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"Trying to master the universe and bend it to my will." I completely feel you on that.
Why don't you write psychology stuff online freelancing on associated content or the examiner. That way you don't have to talk to anyone. You're a great writer.
You are still going to worry about finding someone to kick or slap, I assume?!