A few days ago my friend sent me this cryptic text message. And I quote:

"If someone told you that you were pretty good in bed what would you think?"
Well.. I had no response. Because. Well. That has NEVER been my problem. Pretty good in bed? Never heard it. Addictive? yes. Mind-blowing? yes. The Best I've Ever Had? Plenty of times.  Have I been stalked by people cut off from the well of passion? YES! When I got married a collective bemoan of grief rang out all across North America. There are few things I know for sure but I earned the nickname "The Golden Snatch" fair and square.  Being described as average to pretty good.. Never. Not Never. Usually you can relate to problems friends have on some level, unfortunately in this case I would have had more to say if she told me an alien landed on her shoe and bit her toe. Basically, I was speechless. I mean. What CAN I say? I can't relate. It is so foreign to me I struggled to reach beyond myself to offer any semblance of advice.

Needless to say the conversation intrigued me. I wanted to know more. Get to the bottom of this mystery. Sucking or being mediocre in bed. What a concept! She filled me in on her perspective and believe me I was listening with the scrutiny of a lawyer. My friend was pretty broken up about being inadequate in bed.  Finally managed to muster up some advice. Good in bed vs bad in bed is all relative and perhaps she needs not to shoot at targets which are beyond her proficiency. 

Check it. If you have been playing in the minor leagues for years it is obvious you don't have the talent or skill to play in the major leagues. So. Be happy playing the game with people who are on your aptitude level. Now. If you play in the minor league with dreams of being in the major league, you have 2 options. 1 step your game up or 2 be the best minor league player you can possibly be.

So that is what I told her. Step her game up. Oddly enough the lover said the same thing. Me thinks her lover is in the major leagues too. To be at the top of your game you can't sit back on your laurels and depend on natural talent. You have to hone your craft. Work at it. Read. Study. Explore. Practice. It takes a LOT of time and commitment to be on the top of the food chain and at any moment you can be picked off. Each time you step on the *ahem* field you need to have the attitude you are going to knock it out of the park. Athlete swagger for lack of a better term. Perhaps that is what separates the greats from the pretty goods.

I hope I provided my friend with some solid advice. I did NOT however give her any of my tips and secrets. Come on. Who gives away their playbook? It took years and years of research for me to get to where I am, there is NO WAY I am going to just hand that kind of knowledge over to an amateur. It would be like giving an Aston Martin over to a 14 year old who has never been behind the wheel of any vehicle in their life. Just not a good idea. Too much power in the wrong hands. It would shift the balance in the force. 

In conclusion. Not everyone is a great lover, however you can be a great lover to someone who is working within your skill set. Scorpios have an unfair advantage as we are the rulers of sexual organs therefore  preoccupied with sex. We can make anything sexual. Hell. I could make the bible downright freak nasty if I was half in the mood. Also, I haven't held the Geminis Suck in Bed Caucus in years since it seems to traumatize another one of my friends. I am quite certain Geminis still suck in bed but I don't want to ding anyone's self esteem unnecessarily.


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