Who were you in a previous life and does karma follow you into this one?
Whenever something adverse happens to me the first thought that always runs through my mind is… “Damn karma!” Funny thing is.. Many times I blame my misfortune on something that happened in a previous life rather than something I did in this current one. Cosmic payback from lives past. My bestie and I are always playing this “game” of how horrible we must have been in the past to deserve the crinkles in our days in the present. So. Lately on the heels of my awful marriage, I wonder what in the world did I do in a past life to garner such bad karma to suffer so horribly in my present life. Here are a couple of ideas:
1. I had to have been a Nazi… I must have been kicking people into the ovens and strangling babies to deserve being married to a man such as my husband.
2. I had to have been some sort of courtesan, geisha, or prostitute. I have no idea why but people (men and women) are attracted to me. No matter what I look like.. good hair day or bad hair day.. I can look a hot mess.. And it doesn’t matter. Sadly this extreme attraction comes with the price of people being ONLY sexually attracted to me. Yes. Just a sex thing. My pheromones are always in over drive and they are always giving off the impression of sex. (I can back up these vibes tho)
3. My best friends MUST have been my parents in a previous life. Both of them are younger than I am yet; boss me around with such authority. They had to have been in a position of power over me. Oddly enough, I do exactly what they say rather than arguing or protesting. They have to have been my parents.
4. I was once told I was a Native American who died on the trail of tears. This may explain why I am so overly sensitive about any issues that concern (read screw over) Native Americans. There is no explanation for how passionate I am concerning Native Americans.
5. I definitely was a wench on a pirate ship. (Once again a sexual career choice) It took forever for me to quit bartending. I had a degree and still kept bartending. There is just something about serving beer to drunken surly men that gets me excited.
These are all ideas.. Nothing I am 100 percent sure about. But speculation makes the game fun. Any time something happens at the nut hut I call Anne and tell her.. Damn.. I wish I hadn’t kicked that person in the oven.. And she knows exactly what I mean.
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