I am suffering from the most ridiculous school girl crush ever ever right now. Like seriously. It is getting out of hand. Totally and completely OUT OF HAND. It is so bad I haven’t bothered to tell any of my friends about it for fear of permanently losing cool points with them. When I say school girl crush.. I mean giggly, blushing, kee keeing crush. If my friends caught me in action, they would drag me away to the nut house for sure.

So. This crush. Yeah. All I can say is, when his face pops up on my phone I automatically get this full body tingle and damn near pounce on the accept call button. I have dozens of pictures of him saved on my phone and computer and rotate them weekly as to keep full time exposure to him at a maximum at all times. Many of his texts I save to read when I am bored at work. It is a SICKNESS a SICK-NESS I tell you!

To say I am acting out of character is the understatement of the century, like on the lines of Bush is the smartest American who has ever lived. The attraction to him is so intense it makes me question if I have ever been attracted to anyone ever before. I have never felt like this before. EVER.

So. What is all the fuss over this big ball of wonderful? That is just IT! He is a big ball of WONDERFUL! I would post his pictures up but to protect his identity, and to keep him all to my infatuated ass, I will reveal he looks quite a lot like Lenny Kravitz, and Lenny Kravitz is one sexy ass man! Come to think of it… I think I've had a thing for Lenny for years. This *may* be part of the problem. An obtainable Lenny! If my bestie Heather knew I have access to a Lenny Lookalike she would be springboard off my back to get to him. Anyway.. Back to why the Lenny Lookalike is so damn amazing.. Well. Number one.. He looks a LOT like Lenny and secondly he has no idea how delicious he is! Win WIN! He has the most marvelous hair and exquisite lips! OMG! His lips are like a pink satin bow on his face! Luxurious! He has beautiful amber eyes flecked with gold framed with eyelashes women spend $30 on Dior mascara to replicate. ***SWOON*** Beautiful caramel skin which covers a glorious Greek god body. That is just the outside package. Pseudo Lenny is exceptionally intelligent. At times I am astonished how clever he is. To impress me with your intelligence is about as easy as finding the Holy Grail. His intellect is tempered with a goofy off beat sense of humor. The perfect blend of smarts and smart ass.

I spend most days talking to Pseudo Lenny more than I talk to my best friends, and family combined. Anne does come in as a close second. I never thought she would be dethroned as my number one cominuacado. He makes me laugh for hours about everything and nothing. I know so much about him yet I’m not capricious to believe I am privy to more than he wants me to be cognizant of. I am spoiled by all of the attention he lavishes on me and I feast on it like someone who is about to have bypass surgery next week. I cannot get enough of this man and at times try to wean myself off of him. Unfortunately, I can’t. Not many men can coexist with me without pissing me off. The other ones are afraid of me. I can punk a man so quickly they go limp with bewilderment. But this one.. This one.. He stands up to me and disarms me through his silliness. Clever approach. It works every time. I find myself telling him things I would never tell another man. Things even my ex has no idea about. My thoughts just spill out like wine from an overfilled goblet. I think one of the reasons why I am so candid with him is because I know we will never ever ever get together. The logistics are just unsurpassable.

We are not from the same social, cultural, or economical background. I am older than he is. Also we live in different cities. Most importantly, we are of different religions. His fascinates me… But from a distance. Basically we have absolutely no future outside of being incredible friends, which is far more than enough for me. I want to get married just about as much as I would like to be an indentured servant. So for however long this lasts, I will bask in the glow of Pseudo Lenny. However, I am sure we will be lifelong friends. I mean come on…. If you KNEW someone who was a Lenny Kravitz stunt double.. Wouldn’t you keep them close? I thought so. I would write more about how fan-frickin-tastic he is.. But we are texting right now. Caio!

Ladies should send me Thank You notes for finding this nude picture of Lenny Kravitz! I can't stop looking at it!

Comments (1)

On September 9, 2009 at 5:07 PM , Amanda and Stephen said...

Lol totally was not expecting that last pic! Nice though :)