Twitter.. What a phenomenon. There are hundreds of thousands of people on Twitter making connections, networking, promoting their business, basically we are all yammering through this public forum for one reason or another. I admit. Twitter is used as a stress reliever as well as a venting booth for me. I can't say whatever I want on Facebook anymore due to many people I desire to talk about are my "friends". Soooo.. I take the bitchfest to Twitter where I am nice and anonymous. I say whatever comes to mind no matter how evil, and I like it. Sadly a few people I know in real life follow me on Twitter so I can't be completely uncensored. The idea of opening up another account and keeping it mum has been meandering down the canals of my thoughts. Then again. That would be too much work. I can barely keep up with my two blogs and one is sadly neglected.

So. Twitter.. I checked my statics out of sheer curiosity. I have been on Twitter for 2 years 3 months 2 weeks 3 days 18 hours 58 minutes and 22 seconds as of right now. 2 years? 2 YEARS!!! As with any good relationship I can't believe the time has flown so quickly. I admit I am rather chatty. I do not think any of the people I tweet with have as many updates as I do. Currently I have 81,553 updates.. Which may seem like a LOT. However, considering I am following 1,214 tweeps and I have about 4,887 people following me, it is easy to rack up some serious numbers. I am always getting thrown in Twitter Jail for over tweeting in one hour. This would be a great time to use that second account that I should make. In real life I don't talk to 1,214 people in a whole MONTH! So I decided to break down my Twitter stats to see what I am really up to. I am always the psych.

Two of the people I tweet with most I know in real life. (All this information is provided by various Twitter apps I'm not pulling this out my my high heeled shoes) The other two are scorpios. Which in my estimation make them superior to everyone else. I do not know what criteria is set for these Twitter scores people keep posting, however I was intrigued enough to have mine calculated. Supposedly my score is a 7.5 out of 10 which to me sounds.. Average.. I personally believe I am ABOVE average so I am totally dismissing this as BS. It also seems I tweet about 94 updates a day.. Which is a dramatic decline. I used to tweet over 100 in an hour. Especially when I watch reality TV with my Twitter Buddies. It is so much fun to rip apart tomfoolery. Just like the twitter score there is also a Twitter grader. Also with unknown methods of coming up with numbers. I like my Twitter grade better as it is 100 out of 100. In the real world this means.. NOTHING. Another ridiculous Twitter analyzer claims I am a social butterfly (perhaps) and my impact on Twitter is 4% which translates to just about the salt that goes into bread. Being in the 88.6 percentile of Twitter away from my Droid or MacBook is basically worthless. Twitter is entertainment for me. Nothing more. I do not take it seriously and never will.

Twitter has been good to me. I've met some rockin people on Twitter. I've done several Cupcake Tweetups. All of which I have show up late thanks to crazy snafus. All of which my Twitter Friends have been extremely gracious. I don't think I can calculate the exact number of people I have met in person due to Twitter but I can attest I haven't been raped, assaulted, or serial killed yet. According to another Snake Oil Twitter site I have about 43% friend loyalty which is higher than the average of 24%. I suppose people are entertained by what they read. I am involved in conversations about 79.3% of the time which again is waaaay higher than the average 31.5%. So it looks like I actually talk to people rather than just stand on a soapbox shouting my thoughts and opinions randomly to the crowd like some deranged zealot. I very rarely retweet as I am narcissistic enough to believe me own thoughts are better reflective of what I am thinking than someone else. I also don't quote the Bible or put up inspirational stuff as I would feel like a fraud and a hypocrite considering LOTS of my tweets are about sex and drinking. Honestly I come off as a hyper sexual booze kitten.

Twitter also serves a purpose. I had some issues with Bank of America and was just venting on Twitter about how they are sucking the marrow of the working class and keeping us on the wheel of debt with unnecessary and exorbitant bank fees. Within 20 minutes I was contacted by a BOA rep and my issue was resolved. I used the same tactic with Chase. I suppose Chase doesn't care about negative publicity. They didn't do a damn thing. I subsequently closed my Chase account. Bastards! I complained about Delta airlines with a pleasant outcome as well. Even Fiji Water pays attention to tweets. Then again when you call their product "over priced kitty pee pee infused tap water" anyone would pay attention. Fiji Water rant also garnered great results. The recommendations provided on Twitter are quite useful as well. They have lead me to some amazing cupcake places and steered me away from terrible restaurants. I was informed about sales and where police were setting speed traps. Ah.. I love having the inside track. Twitter has become a powerful tool to get companies to do the right thing (most of the time) and for me to save cashola which is always a win win winnah in my book.

Yeah.. I'm a Twitter pro. I've been on Twitter so long I remember the good old days where the Fail Whale never showed up, celebrities didn't have accounts giving all sorts of bullshit advice, inspirational quotes, and shameless plugs. I was there when people actually made connections, knew what was going on in your life, and CARED. Now it is just an over crowded football field filled with people who have an overrated sense of self, screaming out to no one in particular about the most boring and mundane shit ever. Twitter should have been like Fight Club. First rule. You do not talk about Twitter. Second rule. You do not talk about Twitter. That would have prevented the wannabes who spam and misuse the site would have never polluted such a great entity.


The pictures are some of my favorite avitars that I have used on Twitter FYI.

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