Shit I Buy at Macy's Week 1

Soooo.. Yeah.. I have on and off worked a part time retail jobs for years for extra cash. I have this thing about being financially secure and when I feel I don't have enough scratch coming in, I always pick up a side hustle to supplement my income. I've worked everywhere from *gasp* Payless Shoes (way way way back in college and I NEVER bought one single pair of shoes from that store. Also the job didn't last as the smell of fake leather made me want to gag every shift) to Nordstrom (great job great perks). I just have a knack for sales. It might be my psych super powers.

I have a serious goal I am currently working towards, so to aid the cause, I got a part time job at Macy's in the Fine Jewelry department. It is a perfect fit as #1 I know tons about fine jewelry #2 the department is commission #3 I LOVE JEWELRY!! I might love it MORE than most people I know and a smidge less than Mom and Puppykins.. Just a smidge tho. Jewelry is really up there with me.

I have basically a Hit List of stuff in my department that I HAVE to HAVE or I will die. I have cleverly placed said items in the back of the safe waiting for them to go to clearance. In my quest to be as fabulous as I can possibly be I also like to save money. I have always wanted the best stuff but I refuse to pay retail. In fact.. The game plan is to pay way way way less than retail for everything.

I have always been a Macy's shopper. I am quite store/brand loyal. If you see me in something it has come from Macy's, Banana Republic, J Crew, Saks 5th Avenue, or Nemium Marcus. That's it! Those are basically the ONLY places I shop. Sometimes DSW and oh yes.. Marshall's and TJ Maxx.. So you can guess working part time in a department store is like giving a boozer a part time job at the Jack Daniel's distillery. Basically everywhere I look there is something I have to have. However, spending all of my extra cash at work is sort of counter productive so I have set up rules of engagement when it comes to buying stuff at work.

I can only shop once a week. I can not buy clothes. I have to have all purchases approved by my coworkers, AND at the end of the month I can get 1 big item IF and only IF I have lost weight. So far this is working out pretty well. I haven't spent a lot of money however, I have spent enough to where I went from the red associate card (the one everyone starts out with) to a platinum one. Since Mommy has a Black card I don't feel bad. I am just a minor shopper rather than a heavy hitter.

So. Each week I am going to post Shit I Bought at Macy's as sort of a way to keep a running visual on the stuff I buy and also as entertainment. I might even be shamed enough to return frivolous purchases. I rarely return anything so I am not sure how that is going to pan out. This blog may be a way of justifying my spending... But hey? I get a discount. And I deserve nice stuff. It also is a motivator to diet and exercise so that I get a big pay off at the end of the month. Right? RIGHT! Also it will show the world what an excellent shopper I am. Without further preamble..

SHIT I BOUGHT AT MACY'S 
WEEK 1

I have been lusting after this watch for a long long long time. It is a Raymond Weil Don Giovanni watch beautifully set in stainless steel, Swiss motion, Sapphire crystal face, White Mother of Pearl face, set with 16 VS1 quality diamonds. This beauty normally retails for $1,400 but I snagged it for $588! Killllllahhhhh shopping skills.

Lucy Brand Laptop bag. Normally retails for$49 but I got it for $14.85! Oh yeah! I needed a new laptop bag and I also like Lucky Brand products very much. Win Win Winnah!
 
I wanted this one but they sold out before I could get my hands on it. Oh well. So is retail. If you don't snatch something up when you see it, it may not be there the next time you visit the store. 
The Saga Continues... Till Next Week!

FIN

1:54 PM | Category: , | 0 comments

Got Me Workin Workn Day and Night!
 If you look closely I am in the slave quarters conspicuously in the back.


Once again, I have taken on the role of a workhorse (yay year of the Ox baby). I am doing all I can to pay off the enormous debt being married has caused. Annnnd I am doing it all by myself. When this is over I will be on the other side wiser and hopefully I won't look older. Perhaps not too bitter, but bitter is on the menu for sure. I will save my mental state for another post. So. Today. For the first time in ages I have the day and NIGHT off! Can you believe it? No 4 hour turn around between jobs. No 30 minute naps between shifts. No losing track of days. No forgetting if I have eaten or not. Today.. I am doing.. NOTHING.. And it feels like this!

Sweet Freedom!





blowing kisses to my job as they can kiss my ass
Bubbles of happiness and joy floating to the heavens
I am going to enjoy every single minute of the day like each lick of ice cream.
10:58 AM | Category: | 0 comments

I Was Born at Night... but Not Last Night!

My job sucks. I work in ThisPlaceSucks, which is located in the country of Suckataria. It never ceases to amaze me how just when I think I have reached the bottom of the sucky barrel, they manage to suck just a littttttle bit more. It takes talent to be so sucky let me tell you. Yet, last night, they topped themselves off big time. 

There has been a lot of chatter about people on the night shift taking "naps". If you have ever worked the graveyard shift you know it is a challenge to stay awake during the night considering the body's natural stasis is to go into sleep mode when it is dark. No matter how much sleep you get during the daytime, and believe me it isn't quality sleep as the world is LOUD during waking hours, there are times during the night where you might nod off for a minute or two.. Or.. A hour or so.. It just happens. The night shift relies on each other as a team to keep us awake and alert. Or. At least we SHOULD work as a team. Sadly, there are some people who want to shine and tend to work against the collective. Unfortunately, not everyone has Borg mentality. They do not work towards the benefit of the collective. These traitors have been running to middle and upper management telling on staff members. Sort of like little kids tattling on siblings. How bitchassy is that? Very bitchassy I say. 

We are all in the same boat, yet these dumbasses are poking holes in the bottom of our mode of transportation. So now.. There is a giant spotlight on the night shift. Yay us! Not that we don't have enough problems with the kids, now we have to worry about double agent coworkers and management skulking around trying to catch us. Wonderful. 

Last night I caught a double agent bootlicker red handed. It was.. Hilarious to say the least. The extent she went through to catch someone with his or her pants down is.. Diabolically pathetic. The supervisors ride around campus on golf carts. Rain, shine, good weather, or bad weather they are always in golf carts. These people are so lazy they will roll from one unit to the next in a golf cart. It could be 15 steps or across campus. They golf cart it. About 4AM I WALKED (actually I drove) to the main building because I needed some important paperwork signed. Outside of the main building I saw the night supervisor's golf cart, which would lead me to believe the supervisor is in the building. Right? Right. I searched the building for 15 minutes looking for the supervisor looking in locked rooms, unlocked rooms, under couches, in broom closets... basically everywhere. This supervisor is such a tight ass it would have been a bonus to catch her doing something against company policy. I didn't bring a radio with me because I assumed she would be where she belonged at 4AM otherwise I would have used the walkie talkie to locate her more efficiently.  Finally I gave up. I drove back to the unit and as I was crossing the field from the parking lot whom do I see lurking in the bushes peeking in the windows???? THE NIGHT SUPERVISOR! Holy I have too much free time on my hands Moley! 

Honestly, I have never ever claimed to be nice.. In fact when naughty and devilish qualities were passed out, I obtained extra helpings. I crept up on her as silently as I could... picked up a stick.. and whacked her on the back! She turned screaming. It was all I could take to bite back my laughter. I informed her I thought she was an intruder, as people shouldn't be lurking outside a mental health facility at 4AM peeking in windows. She was so shaken, her lies about her actions made NO SENSE. I knew she was trying to catch someone sleeping. She knew I KNEW what she was doing in the bushes, yet she kept concocting ridiculous excuses for her whereabouts. I reminded her the golf cart was outside the main building and it seems odd she was on foot at 4AM. She could get hurt out here. Which in all honesty, I did whack her pretty hard. But come on.. If you were me.. And you were handed the chance I was divinely given.. YOU WOULD DO THE SAME DAMN THING! I totally got away with beating my supervisor like a piñata and now I am the hero of the night shift! 

I am not sure what tactics the supervisors will enact in the future. I am on guard. The rest of the night shift is on guard. One double agent has been exposed it is only a matter of time when the others are exposed for the rats they are. I doubt that particular supervisor will be skulking around in the bushes tonight however, if she is, we will be ready for her. I kept the stick too.

FIN

4:48 PM | Category: | 1 comments

Love Halloween but Hate Being Scared....

It is October which is my all time favorite month. Nothing beats the crisp air, brightly colored leaves , the chilly wind kissing your cheeks, and all things fantastically fall. Yes. I just love October. To me it signifies the beginning of fun and excitement. Why you ask? Well Halloween of course!

Halloween is my most favorite holiday. I know it gets a bad rap being that lots of people still try to equate it to the "Devil's Holiday" and all sorts of demonic witchy foolishness.. BUT to be fair just like oh.. say.. CHRISTMAS.. and uh... EASTER..  Halloween is a holiday that has murky origins which are not 100% Christian. A little pagan here.. a little druid there..Celtic.. All Saints Day (finally Christianish). But people believe what they want to believe. If it helps them sleep at night to assume Halloween is an evil holiday then fine.

Anyway.. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Halloween over ever single holiday. (I stopped celebrating or acknowledging my birthday years ago as I decided I would stop ageing). To me it is better than Christmas because you do not have to run around getting all stressed out buying presents for people who most likely won't like it anyway. Unless you are me with origins of being a personal shopper at Nordstrom.. I always hit gift giving out of the park. Yes. Halloween has the best package for fun and mayhem in my estimation. Number one.. You get CANDY.. Uh hello? WIN.. Second.. You get to dress up! My preference is always a costume with a crown of some sort and sky high heels. I would have made an exceptional drag queen with my predilection for big hair, high heels, crowns, and pageantry.  WIN WIN WINNAH! Dress up.. Get candy! This is a holiday tailor made for me.

This year I am dressing up as the Vampire Queen of Louisiana Sophie Anne. Frasier C Puppykins is also going to be a vampire. He isn't as excited as I am. I can barely wait for the 31st. I am simply buzzing with delight.

Another component of Halloween is decorating your home. Carving pumpkins and decorating with spooky stuff is so much FUN! Over the years I have quite a collection of bats, witches, vampires, pumpkins, and such.. I kinda do the Vegas Showgirl Halloween decoration route. Very sparkly. Very over the top. Not scary at all. Never ever scary. Annnnd that brings me to the other part of Halloween.. I HATE SCARY STUFF!

I hate scary stuff.. I hate being scared.. I do not like the creepy chill that goes up your spine, the tingly feeling on your skin, the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end.. I hate hate hate all of that. I hate it when I am so frightened my spine gets stiff. I do not like screaming in fear. I do not like scary movies. I do not like ghosts. Witches are ok. I rather like them. However, anything remotely scary I run from like a vampire from sunlight. How can someone love Halloween so much and completely dislike the scary part? Easily. I have been doing it for years.

I think I have always been a scary kid. Number one, I have an older brother by 8 years whose only goal in life was to scare me daily in hopes I would have a heart attack and die so he could have our parents to himself again. He did everything in his power to frighten me to death. Like.. Making me watch this horrible movie which I will not name but it rhymes with Phexercist. Being our father raised us Catholic I totally believe that movie was real. I haven't been right since. Then el hermano fed me a constant diet of scary movies like Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, The Shining, The Howling, Halloween movies.... just anything scary as hell.. Sooo.. yeah.. At a young age I learned to be very afraid of the dark. (it doesn't help that I also can detect ghosts. I have been since I was very young). I am ruined for life. I will always be super jumpy and very scary.

It is so bad, my friends LOVE LOVE LOVE to cajole me into watching scary movies. Unless properly tricked, I turn them down 100% of the time. One of the last "scary" films I willingly watched was Starship Troopers of which I screamed the entire time and actually jumped out of the seat and ran down the isle before I collected myself. Heather still laughs at that. I refuse to watch scary movies to this day. If a movie trailer is moderately creepy I will change the channel immediately until it goes off.

Once to confront my fears head on I agreed to go to a haunted house.. BIG MISTAKE! I walked through it with my eyes closed hoping to lessen the experience. I suppose people who work haunted houses can detect the people who are the most frightened and amp it up for them because, the man dressed as Jason jumped out at me. This was so overwhelming that I started running. Knocking into people... RUNNING.. He chased me through the haunted house and in my terror, I tripped screaming all the way to the floor. The last thing I recall was Jason standing over me with a bloody knife. Annnnnnd when I woke up, I was in the back of an ambulance. Yeah. I passed out. Fainted. My adrenaline kicked in then caused a system over load.  I ladies and gentleman passed out from fear in a haunted house. Not only did I wake up in an ambulance with an oxygen mask on my face, they shut down the haunted house for 2 hours so there were a lot of super angry people shooting me the death face. I was just happy to #1 be out of that monster house and #2 I managed not to pee on myself.


So you see. I love Halloween in a kind of fun dress up candy way. I just hate the scary movies ghostie part. Anyway.. Enjoy the season. I know I am! And to all those who aren't being Nancies.. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

FIN
6:42 AM | Category: , | 2 comments

Things I'm Feelin Friday
Oddly enough, I get a lot of feedback from my blogs which contain lots of pictures. I guess people don't care much of what I say but enjoy looking at pictures. Honestly, I do not consider myself a professional blogger by any means. I just write what I am thinking about and move on to the next topic. Basically my blog is a schizophrenia of pictures and ramblings of a confused woman who keeps it together with frosting,  glitter, puppy kisses, and booze. Today I am going to appease the masses and keep my chatter to a bare minimum. (I know.. people are like too late) Tonight.. I dedicate this post to things I am feeling friday. More skitzoness.

I feel like going to the park and swinging till I recapture the innocence of youth or I get a headache. Whichever comes first. 
I am feeling like a good Red Velvet cupcake is magic. It can fix anything in 3 bites or less. 

I am feeling like eating a BLT for dinner. Not any BLT, but a gooooood one made with thick smoked bacon, crisp lettuce, firm tomatoes, and a thin layer of mayo on some type of wheat bread. I don't want the bacon skimped on either. I want more than 3 slices. 
I am feeling these Succubus books. They are erotic, sexy, and dangerous. I am filling the void of True Blood with this series of books. If I were a supernatural creature, I am convinced I would be a Succubus. Honestly, I think I am a Succubus right now.
I am feeling like getting my hair cut like this. Long sexy bouncy layers of curls and sex appeal. Yeah. I think I am going to get my hair done like this. 

As always. I am feeling anything Hello Kitty unless it is tacky. There are a few tacky Hello Kitty products out there. I might write a blog about them one day. 
How sad I don't own a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes. I am feeling like I need these pair. They are pink kittylicious which is basically me in shoe form. 
Right now I am feeling like listening to the blues. So I am currently listening to John Lee Hooker. All I am missing is a glass of whiskey with three ice cubes and a lime. I may remedy that in a few minutes. You can't listen to the blues without drinking whiskey. It is against the rules. 
I am feeling the lack of romance and passion in my life. This is distressing since I feed off of passion and romance. I feel I need to remedy this as soon as possible. I feel like I need to be kissed to the point of where I am dizzy and breathless. Till then.. I will keep reading books with romantic overtones and gratuitous sex. Oh. I need to put I am ALSO in need of gratuitous sex. Lots of it. 
I feel like dancing. Not just any dancing but the tango type dancing. Close contact dancing. Being led by a strong male partner dancing. 


FIN
4:53 PM | Category: | 0 comments

I ain't Saying She's a Gold Digger but She ain't Messin with No Broke....
 Kanye West may be an ass.. Well.. Actually he is an ass.. BUT he was on to something when he wrote the Gold Digger song. I'm not saying I am a Gold Digger.. But I am definitely not messing with no broke broke... These days men are expecting MORE from women and doing much much less than they were before. Expecting to be taken on a date and being treated like a lady will only get your feelings hurt. Getting a man to pick up a check is about as easy as finding the fountain of youth. A legend we have all heard of but never experienced.
 Men are using the excuse women are only out for their money to be lazy. When did expecting a man to be a gentleman become being a Gold Digger? Also, when did men become so cheap, sloppy, and lazy about romancing a woman?
Are we to believe this spin doctrine? Men unfairly rationalize  that the women's liberation movement (which most of it happened before my generation) means a woman should either pay her half (understandable if HE doesn't as YOU out) OR flat out pay for him. That is NOT what the equality movement was about. Women want equal pay in the workplace and last time I checked, men still make MORE money than we do for the same amount of work. This is such a shame considering women's work is far more superior AND efficient than any work a man does. But I digress. Men are just being cheap. They would rather spend the extra money on video games, golf, clothes, their car.. magic beans... the list goes on and on. Instead of showing a lady a good time which believe me, costs US more in the long run than them (cosmetics, clothes, perfume, getting your hair done alone is a fortune), men  throw around the label Gold Digger as a straw man of some sort to spingali women into thinking it is wrong to expect a man to pony cash up for a date.
I have to give men credit. Their campaign was sneaky and effective. People these days are quite apt to label women as Gold Diggers without hesitation. Deserved title or not.  Hell.. Even women refer to other women as Gold Diggers. It is a shame men are so clever they turn women against each other. We are so preoccupied about what other women are doing we don't seem to notice how slouchy men are. Is it gold digging to expect a man to pull out his wallet? Uh no. Gender roles are important and do not need to be blurred. 
We are living in a material world and I am most definitely a material girl. I have no problem paying for my own stuff, just don't expect me to pay for yours. However, I rarely turn down a gift or a night out on the town.  I'm not a Gold Digger but I'm not messing with a broke.. broke..

FIN
11:17 AM | Category: , | 0 comments

So.. Yeah..

For the first time in a long time.. Basically since high school I am jealous of my friends. (I was so annoyed my friend got a brand new red BMW for her 16th birthday. I soon got over it) Not just one of them.. ALL OF THEM. Every single one of them and lots of people I do not know. Why? WHY you say? Things are so screwed up in my life right now and from the outside looking in, everyone else is having the time of their lives.

One of my friends finally is with her soul mate. Jealous
One is completely free of her ex husband. Jealous
One moved to the city she has always wanted to live. Jealous
One is happily married and having a baby. Jealous
One has an amazing job which she loves/ Jealous

The list goes on and on and on and on.. It isn't healthy for me to be so riddled with jealousy. I just can't control myself. Cognitively I know how to pull myself out of these jealous doldrums. Emotionally I just don't seem to have the energy to put the work in. Instead I bury myself in work and thoughts of how life is going to be at the end of the tunnel of Hades. Unfortunately, thoughts of how great other people are doing creep into the crack of my fortress of solitude. If jealousy is green then my insides must be the Emerald City.

What can I do? Keep going. No other options. Keep going. I read a quote once which stated "Everything is better in the end. If things aren't better. It isn't the end." I don't know when the end is coming but I can only pray it is near. I was born in the year of the Ox. Beast of burden. Workhorse of the Chinese zodiac. Oddly enough this ability to work seemingly tirelessly towards a goal pays off in the end. It is just getting to the end which is so stressful. Is my burden heavy? Oh hell yes. Can I carry it with determination and grace? Absolutely. In heels no less.

FIN
4:47 PM | Category: , | 0 comments