Bad Things Have Been Done to Me *True Blood*
It is no secret that I have an obsession with....

This season was the best yet. What is not to love. Vampires. SEX. Werewolves. SEX. Fairy. SEX. Telepaths. SEX. Shape Shifters. SEX. Witches. SEX... This has to be one of the sexiest cast of characters I have ever seen. And.. I LOVE IT! 
My crush on Eric Northman has intensified. Between the books and the show I just swoon when his name comes up. Everything about him is so sexual. This Viking is just smoldering sexuality and I eat it up voraciously. 
Sookie needs to stop beating around the bush and just give up the cookies, cakes, and pies to Eric. After all that would mean more sex scenes with him. More sex scenes means more nudity. Win for me! 
Also the sex pot Alcide Hevereaux showed up. What a werewolf. This man would have me howling at the moon every night. Well. Except when the moon is full. Then I would stay home alone OR go visit Eric. Hopefully next season we will see more of him. I mean that figuratively and LITERALLY. 
Soo.. Godrick came back.. I liked him. I don't know exactly where they are going with this character. He is like some sort of vamparitic angel or something? Maybe a vampire ghost? He can keep his clothes on. Godrick was sorta short so he didn't really do it for me.  Godrick can stay.
 
Russell.. What in the hell?  Appearing on television ripping out the spine of the newscaster?  "And now for the weather.. Tiffany?" Nutty as hell! Carrying around Talbot vampire goo in a Waterford crystal urn? Can we say.. INSANE! Is he really gone? We shall see.

Sam.. Turning into a badass? Please.. Not believable. Totally not believable. Although a shape shifter he is pretty boring. So next season.. Less Sam. His story line with the trashy family was a snooze fest. Annnnnd he can keep his clothes on too. He is also short. 

Arlene and her demonic baby.. Yeah.. Not feeling it. Less of her too. And do something with her hair.


Honestly an underutilized character is Pam. They totally need to expand her storyline. She is such an interesting character with many layers yet they continuously keep her in the background. So. MORE PAM! She has a sense of humor and can deliver a line like "Are you picking up what I am putting down" with so much panache.


Sadly Lorena met the true death. Too damn bad. She had fire. "I will rip your ribcage out and wear it as a hat" who says that? Well besides Russell who wanted to eat everyone and their children. I will miss the ruthless brutality of Lorena, plus her wardrobe was kick ass.

Lafayette! Oh how I love him! What a character. Although he died in the books I am so delighted he was spared on the show. I expect to see more and more of him especially since he now has a love interest. So yay! More Lafayette and his crazy momma.


Will Eric kill bitchass Bill already? I am so sick of Bill Compton. He is weak as tapwater and the fake ass southern accent is getting on my nerves. I live right next to Louisiana and I can attest to nobody sounds like that there. NOBODY. Candy ass Bill needs to meet the true death. PLEASE. Put us all out of our misery. Less Bill. Rather just kill him.


Franklyn Mott.. What a fruitcake.. He was seriously certifiable. Tara needs to pull it together in regards to her taste in men. Jason took care of this rogue with a wooden bullet. 


Talbot. How annoying. I know plenty of gay men and he is by far the queeniest most repulsive representative of the lot. So delighted he got it.  The gay love scene between Talbot and Eric sorta turned my stomach. I was delighted it wasn't too graphic. My lustful dreams of Eric returned after a week or so. I wasn't too traumatized.


Why does Crystal always look dirty?  Will her black eye ever go away? Her neighbor/family in Hot Shot are West Virginiaish and just horrible. Less of her PLEASE. Inbred panthers are just not interesting enough to watch. LESS Crystal. Better yet. Just kill her and blow up Hot Shot. We do not need anymore "uncle-daddies".


The only good thing about Tara is she has a rockin body. This season she spent the entire time playing the "scared negro" as my friend Aja says. Hopefully she will pull it together. She can stay if her storyline produces a man that looks like this


Or someone who look very much like Eggs. WE liked looking at Eggs. Especially when he was sans clothes.


Jason Stackhouse.. What an idiot. However, if he spends the majority of the next season like this.. I am ok with him. He can stay.. Just not talk.
*whew* I had to look at that picture 5 more times before moving on. Just looked at it again. giggle.


Ah. The Queen of Louisiana Sophie-Anne. Boy can she dress! That may be the cause of her financial troubles. Either way hopefully she doesn't die. Besides Pam none of the other female characters can pull together a cohesive outfit. Sookie looks like she finds her stuff at Wal-Mart right along with Tara and Arlene. Get some more characters with style damn it! Vampires aren't the only group of beings with some sense of fashion. More Sophie-Anne. In my dream of dreams she kills Bill of whom I really hate. 


Sookie can stay too. Only for the Eric sex scenes. That would be her main purpose. She should also get it on with Alcide. 

SO that is my wrap up of True Blood Season 3. Who should go. Who should stay (Eric, Pam, Alcide). Who thankfully met the true death. What to do what to do until season 4 starts? I might go into withdrawals. 
 
I just looked at the picture of Jason Stackhouse again.. and again.. tee hee hee

FIN
6:25 PM | Category: | 7 comments

September 11th, 2010

Today the nation remembers one of the most devastating acts of aggression and terrorism directed towards America. I totally remember what I was doing when the planes hit the towers. Sit ups. It was just an ordinary day. I was doing sit ups complaining to myself how my pooch seems to never go completely away. In the next room Anne was sleeping in. Once the events started to unfold, I ran into her room, woke her up, and for the rest of the day we (Anne, Oracle, and Willie the dog) sat on her bed in HORROR. Complete HORROR. We were in Washington DC what seems like hours before this event took place actually TALKING about if terrorists attacked America where would they strike. Eerily this conversation took place as we were passing by the Pentagon. To this day I wonder if somehow. Someway. I picked up on the energy of what was about to happen. I had no concrete idea of how it WOULD happen but down to the exact places I was spot on. Although the ex kept trying to say Texas would be a target (Anne and I tried to explain to him nobody wants Texas but Texans). Then mere hours later Anne and I were safely at home living our normal lives while so many people lost theirs.

What I like to focus on is how for a few weeks, Americans stopped focusing on race. People came together. Neighbors checked on each other. I was so proud to be an American during this time because it was a glimpse of what we COULD be as a nation if we stopped focusing on what divides us and concentrate on what unifies us. We are ALL Americans first. We should stand strong TOGETHER.

It is almost the 10 year mark for September 11th. In those years a lot has changed. Some things have stayed the same. I would like to honor the people who are no longer with us with a list of things we as people who are still here need to focus on. Not social-economical status, or race, or religion.. No. When it all comes down to it, these things are irrelevant.  (some of these ideas are poached)

Focus on Living Your Life to the Fullest
  1. When you lose, don't lose the lesson lest you repeat it again and again until you get it. 
  2. Respect yourself, Respect others, Responsibility for all of your actions.
  3. Not getting what you want can be actually a good thing. 
  4. Don't let a small fissure ruin a great friendship.
  5. Talk to your family often no matter how much you think they get on your nerves. Once they are gone, they are gone forever. You can't get time back. 
  6. When you make a mistake, instead of complaining, use that energy to correct it. 
  7. Spend time alone each day. It helps you clear your thoughts. You can differentiate what you think vs what people around you think.
  8. Open your heart to change, yet do not let go of your values. 
  9. Silence is sometimes the best answer. 
  10. Once a year go someplace you have never gone before. 
  11. Memories are priceless, try to increase the good ones and do not let the bad ones rule your thoughts. 
  12. The simplest things will bring you the most joy.
  13. Listen more than you speak, you will learn a lot that way.
  14. Never underestimate the power of a healthy diet, daily exercise, water, adequate rest, sunshine, and the love of people around you. 
  15. You don't have to follow all the things on this list. Just most of them cuz I said so! 

FIN
1:46 PM | Category: , | 1 comments

Things I Want Thursday
Things I want Thursday.. YES! My cosmic wish list of things I want damnit! Make no mistake I am quite thankful for what I have but, come on.. Everyone has a list no matter how long or short of things they want.  So without further ado! Oracle's Things I WANT Thursday! *cue the dancing girls*

Yadda yadda.. I want world peace and for all children to get a quality education and to not get abused by anyone... now that I have gotten that out of the way let's get to the good stuff. Warning.. I am quite materialistic! *rubs hands together*

 I want Frasier C Puppykins to be perfectly trained, behaved, and a model dog who naps contentiously and rarely barks. 
I want a new job where I make gobs of money and have a great benefits package. Said job should also provide me with a shoe budget and long lunch breaks which I can put on the company card. Also I do not want to work in an environment where all the coworkers are out to get each other AND I have job security.
I want Georgetown Cupcakes. Not just ANY cupcakes. GEORGETOWN CUPCAKES as they are the best in the stratosphere.
I want Dave Matthews to sit on the edge of my bed and sing me to sleep every night.
I want my student loans and credit cards to be paid off completely. I want to be debt free.
I want a Gucci bag so large you can see the Gucci logo from the moon.
I want a diamond and gold Hello Kitty ring.. Not the cheezy ones with fake stones. A REAL DIAMOND HELLO KITTY RING. 

I want to live in a beach cottage. Every morning I want to wake up and look at the ocean from my bedroom. Every night BEFORE Dave Matthews sings me to sleep I want to stroll along the beach with Puppykins.
I want a Mini Cooper. Not that I don't have a kick car right now, but I want a Mini Cooper. They are so cute! Plus I would reduce my carbon footprint.
I want Alcide Herveaux.. Lots. All the time. Every day..

I want pink Christian Louboutin shoes. PINK ones!

Ehh.. That is enough for now. The universe should be pretty busy fulfilling my wish list.  I won't be greedy.

FIN
7:19 AM | Category: | 1 comments

Oprah is to Gayle as @pinksugacupcake is to @msannek
Oprah is to Gayle as I am to my best friend. I find it troubling when women claim they cannot be friends with other women because they are catty, out to get their men, jealous... The list goes on an on. My thought is.. What kind of friend are you? What type of friends do you attract? How in the WORLD can any woman survive today without the closeness of a good girlfriend? The support system they provide is invaluable. You can have male friends.. Even close male friends.. But they can never take the place of a best girlfriend. Although gay men come quite close.
My bestie and I have been through life's ups and downs. We have done things together.. separately.. One thing never wavered.. We did them with the support of the other. Even when we thought the other was completely out of their damn mind, we supported them and when the time came to start cleaning up the fall out we would swoop in with a vengeance. Nobody screws over my bestie on pain of death! Sadly.. Some of that loyalty was a bit misplaced or perhaps misguided. My bestie has done some things I clearly thought were not good ideas but I kept my mouth shut. Although I am a psych I am notoriously long on silence and short on advice. I believe people need to learn their own lessons. How can a spirit grow if it is always being shielded from experiences? So I stood by, helped even, her experience life. I wanted her to learn lessons for herself. Kinda like Oprah and Gayle. Those two are as thick as thieves. Their friendship mirrors ours. Don't mess with Gayle or you have a Harpie oops... I mean Hapo after you. And you do NOT want that. 
My best friend and I drove from California to Virginia quite similar to the road trip Oprah and Gayle took. We actually didn't get tired of each other. We sang songs (terribly), laughed, cried, saw America, felt racism, ate crappy food, ate gas station snacks, slept in sketchy motels, slept in wonderful hotels, saw friends, missed seeing friends, ate cupcakes, almost crossed the border into Mexico, drove at speeds exceeding 90 miles per hour, got sick of Texas, met Twitter friends, never passed up an outlet mall,  and a wealth of other experiences. You would think after 5 days in the car we would need a break. The moment we were apart I missed her dearly.
Our personalities are quite different yet surprisingly alike. (oxymoron alert) Education has always been the crux of who I am. When I dropped out of college she encouraged me to go back and finish. Then when I entered grad school she was my biggest cheerleader.. well.. besides my Mom.. I totally support her design business. To me everything she makes is magic and flawless. Any criticism of her work will bring out the furies. Someone foolishly attacked her on Twitter and I went after them like a Vampire after their prey. We all know how that scenario concludes. I am sure anyone who witnessed that will think a hundred thousand trillion times before tangling with either one of us.
We also got puppies together. Through circumstances beyond our control we lost our dogs. Mine to old age (17 years of Willie is more than anyone can ask for) hers to divorce (ex husbands need to be publicly flogged). Although we did not get the same breed of puppy we did both get Terrors, I mean Terriers.
Yeah.. We are a lot like Oprah and Gayle. Love us or hate us.. We have each other and that seems to be all we basically need. I might be the more gregarious of the two, but she shines bright in her own right.  We allow the other to be completely themselves flaws and all and oddly enough, the flaws are what makes our relationship perfect.

FIN
9:12 AM | Category: , | 3 comments

What the Hell is Up with Men Lately?

Maybe I have been sleeping like Rip Van Winkle or something and missed when the tide turned. Is it just me or are men rather over sexualized these days? I mean get real! I am just stunned how bold they are about asking women for sex! Stunned I say! When did this start happening? I feel as if this new behavior is coming out of nowhere rather than a slow onslaught of foolishness. What the hell!?! I feel like I have been in a cave and now that I am out of hibernation the world has changed and left me behind. 

Let me explain what I am talking about if you are not as lucky as I to experience this.
Case Study #1 I work with a perfectly sane, handsome, and decent guy. The other night out of nowhere he puts his hand on my leg.. (Close to my yaya) squeezes it and tells me he would love to sleep with me. Like have a purely sexual relationship! Then I was told as if it were a compliment my breasts have been calling him all night and he needs to answer the call. This gentleman and I am using the term very loosely has a girlfriend. I know of this because he speaks of her. I asked him why was he propositioning me when he has someone else. His reply. Because I want you. HUH? Because you want me?
Case Study #2 Another co-worker asks me if I have any porn. WHAT? How do you formulate your lips to ask if someone has porn? Second who has it on DVD anymore anyway? Everyone gets his or her porn off the Internet for free! NO I do not have any porn DVDs to loan you! And NO I do NOT want to watch porn with you. EVER!
Case Study #3 Co-worker invited himself to my house to “beat them buns up”. Whatever that means, it doesn’t sound attractive or pleasurable in the least bit.
Case Study #4 Co-worker with my phone number sexed me a picture of his penis. I am VERY tempted after receiving such an impressive calling card but seriously. Eww.

Now these are just a few examples of the things that happen at work. Now let’s explore the antics of men that don’t even know my name.


Case Study #5 Guy off of twitter asked me to meet him at a motel NOTORIOUS for charging by the hour. Then was pissy when I said “Hell no”.
Case Study #6 Random guy at the mall wanted to know if my lips were as talented as they look.
Case Study #7 I am lumping many men into this case study. Men from various websites where I have pages send me pictures of them in various stages of undress. Full frontal and some enterprising men even give back shots. All of these pictures are unsolicited.
Case Study #8 Man at the car wash leered at me when my dress blew up in the wind then asked if he could taste the fruit of his labor. I think he was trying to be clever, but it was stupid and annoyed me
Case Study #9 Guy sitting next to me at the airport admired my legs and asked if I could wrap them around him.
Case Study #10 Another lumped category. Random men asking me to send them naked cheesecake pictures to their phones or email addresses. Um. No. Just. No. Refer to free Internet porn.
There are so many more Case Studies but if I documented them all my fingers would be bleeding from all the typing I would have to do.

So I began to wonder what vibe am I giving off? Why are men approaching me sexually and nothing else? Not an offer for coffee not even an offer to tie my damn shoe! Why sex? Why ONLY sex? As any good researcher does, I began to ask my male friends about this phenomenon. They hipped me to the game. Men will ask in hopes of a woman being slutty as hell and down for it. Sadly enough women fall for this tactic in hopes that it may lead to a relationship. OTHER women just go along with it because they are slutty slut bombs. Annnnd then there is the last group of women who just want sex with no strings attached. Either way. I do not fit in any of those categories. I have my own agenda and it is NOT falling into the bed of random men who want to adorn their sheets with my body. Not gonna happen. Ever. I think more women should shut men down so they have to rethink their tactics. Make it harder for them. Make them work for it. Why should it be so easy for men? Being a woman is hard as hell. Men should get a taste of the difficulties we go through on a daily basis without complaint. Then I am sure they would have more respect for us.

FIN
5:51 PM | Category: , | 1 comments

Well.. It has finally happened

I have turned into my Mother. Not exactly like her but close enough were I seem to be her doppelganger. This last visit proved it. I am Evelyn Lite. 

My mother is a Southern Lady. Genteel and serene.  She is not going to curse in public (I still have no problem with cursing) or do anything deemed unladylike. She goes to church, prays for strangers, and uses the phrase “bless your heart” so often I can’t keep an accurate tally. My mom is not going to wear anything slightly unflattering and she won’t wear white after Labor Day. 

My momma is the person who will pay for other people’s groceries when they are short on money or their credit card gets declined. She is the first person to show up when someone dies and the last person to leave (after she cleaned up the kitchen and after all the company). Mom is generous to a fault and has volunteered on damn near every charitable committee on several continents. She donates money anonymously to people in need. She gives money to people she knows never expecting reimbursement. Mom takes in stray people and nurses them back to health mentally and physically. She always thinks before she speaks and passes out compliments and good cheer like Halloween candy. She fair, hilarious, and a loyal friend. Mom is also a rather accomplished cook. She could teach Paula Deen a few things about Southern cooking but she refuses to share her secrets. Her philosophy is “why should I go to someone else’s house to eat my own cooking?” Did I mention she was hilarious and witty?

On the other hand.. MOM is a notorious flirt! I doubt if any man is safe! No matter how attractive, ugly, young, old, intelligent, or dullard Mom is going to flirt with them. She embarrasses me constantly with her flirty behavior.  Oddly enough this flirtatious demeanor gets her tons of free stuff.  Mom has extremely high standards for people and they always seem to rise to the occasion for her. She has a way of pulling out the very best in people.  Her powers of persuasion are legendary. The Jedi Mind Trick has nothing on my momma.  Mom has a way of getting her point across or her agenda pushed ahead without anyone knowing they have been worked over. Clever is her middle name. She is also rather bossy. As a kid we called her “The General” and now that I am older the fam calls me “The Colonel”. I suppose I am her second in command.

 So yeah..  I am a mini version of my Mother. We walk alike, enjoy the same things, have identical clothing aesthetics, great manners, and are thank you note writing steel magnolias.  I may not have inherited her stunning looks but I have her personality. And you know what? That’s all right with me. Just call me General in Training.
FIN
6:28 AM | Category: | 0 comments