Showing posts with label twitter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twitter. Show all posts

Tweeting to the Point of Exhaustion

Twitter.. What a phenomenon. There are hundreds of thousands of people on Twitter making connections, networking, promoting their business, basically we are all yammering through this public forum for one reason or another. I admit. Twitter is used as a stress reliever as well as a venting booth for me. I can't say whatever I want on Facebook anymore due to many people I desire to talk about are my "friends". Soooo.. I take the bitchfest to Twitter where I am nice and anonymous. I say whatever comes to mind no matter how evil, and I like it. Sadly a few people I know in real life follow me on Twitter so I can't be completely uncensored. The idea of opening up another account and keeping it mum has been meandering down the canals of my thoughts. Then again. That would be too much work. I can barely keep up with my two blogs and one is sadly neglected.

So. Twitter.. I checked my statics out of sheer curiosity. I have been on Twitter for 2 years 3 months 2 weeks 3 days 18 hours 58 minutes and 22 seconds as of right now. 2 years? 2 YEARS!!! As with any good relationship I can't believe the time has flown so quickly. I admit I am rather chatty. I do not think any of the people I tweet with have as many updates as I do. Currently I have 81,553 updates.. Which may seem like a LOT. However, considering I am following 1,214 tweeps and I have about 4,887 people following me, it is easy to rack up some serious numbers. I am always getting thrown in Twitter Jail for over tweeting in one hour. This would be a great time to use that second account that I should make. In real life I don't talk to 1,214 people in a whole MONTH! So I decided to break down my Twitter stats to see what I am really up to. I am always the psych.

Two of the people I tweet with most I know in real life. (All this information is provided by various Twitter apps I'm not pulling this out my my high heeled shoes) The other two are scorpios. Which in my estimation make them superior to everyone else. I do not know what criteria is set for these Twitter scores people keep posting, however I was intrigued enough to have mine calculated. Supposedly my score is a 7.5 out of 10 which to me sounds.. Average.. I personally believe I am ABOVE average so I am totally dismissing this as BS. It also seems I tweet about 94 updates a day.. Which is a dramatic decline. I used to tweet over 100 in an hour. Especially when I watch reality TV with my Twitter Buddies. It is so much fun to rip apart tomfoolery. Just like the twitter score there is also a Twitter grader. Also with unknown methods of coming up with numbers. I like my Twitter grade better as it is 100 out of 100. In the real world this means.. NOTHING. Another ridiculous Twitter analyzer claims I am a social butterfly (perhaps) and my impact on Twitter is 4% which translates to just about the salt that goes into bread. Being in the 88.6 percentile of Twitter away from my Droid or MacBook is basically worthless. Twitter is entertainment for me. Nothing more. I do not take it seriously and never will.

Twitter has been good to me. I've met some rockin people on Twitter. I've done several Cupcake Tweetups. All of which I have show up late thanks to crazy snafus. All of which my Twitter Friends have been extremely gracious. I don't think I can calculate the exact number of people I have met in person due to Twitter but I can attest I haven't been raped, assaulted, or serial killed yet. According to another Snake Oil Twitter site I have about 43% friend loyalty which is higher than the average of 24%. I suppose people are entertained by what they read. I am involved in conversations about 79.3% of the time which again is waaaay higher than the average 31.5%. So it looks like I actually talk to people rather than just stand on a soapbox shouting my thoughts and opinions randomly to the crowd like some deranged zealot. I very rarely retweet as I am narcissistic enough to believe me own thoughts are better reflective of what I am thinking than someone else. I also don't quote the Bible or put up inspirational stuff as I would feel like a fraud and a hypocrite considering LOTS of my tweets are about sex and drinking. Honestly I come off as a hyper sexual booze kitten.


Twitter also serves a purpose. I had some issues with Bank of America and was just venting on Twitter about how they are sucking the marrow of the working class and keeping us on the wheel of debt with unnecessary and exorbitant bank fees. Within 20 minutes I was contacted by a BOA rep and my issue was resolved. I used the same tactic with Chase. I suppose Chase doesn't care about negative publicity. They didn't do a damn thing. I subsequently closed my Chase account. Bastards! I complained about Delta airlines with a pleasant outcome as well. Even Fiji Water pays attention to tweets. Then again when you call their product "over priced kitty pee pee infused tap water" anyone would pay attention. Fiji Water rant also garnered great results. The recommendations provided on Twitter are quite useful as well. They have lead me to some amazing cupcake places and steered me away from terrible restaurants. I was informed about sales and where police were setting speed traps. Ah.. I love having the inside track. Twitter has become a powerful tool to get companies to do the right thing (most of the time) and for me to save cashola which is always a win win winnah in my book.





Yeah.. I'm a Twitter pro. I've been on Twitter so long I remember the good old days where the Fail Whale never showed up, celebrities didn't have accounts giving all sorts of bullshit advice, inspirational quotes, and shameless plugs. I was there when people actually made connections, knew what was going on in your life, and CARED. Now it is just an over crowded football field filled with people who have an overrated sense of self, screaming out to no one in particular about the most boring and mundane shit ever. Twitter should have been like Fight Club. First rule. You do not talk about Twitter. Second rule. You do not talk about Twitter. That would have prevented the wannabes who spam and misuse the site would have never polluted such a great entity.

FIN

The pictures are some of my favorite avitars that I have used on Twitter FYI.
7:47 AM | Category: | 0 comments

Death of Twitter Crush

So.. Yeah.. For over a year I have had this school girl crush on someone I met on twitter. We do not live in the same state or time zone even so our relationship has been basically lots and lots of talking. Somewhere in these marathon talk sessions I managed to lift Twitter Crush's feet off of the ground and onto a pedestal. People would be compared to Twitter Crush and would always come out on the losing end. How could anyone compete with basically an enigma or a character I basically created from components of reality and filled in the gaps with my imagination? The creative liberties I allotted myself to generate this perfect person are.. well.. epically delusional. While I was doing this I knew it was wrong but at the time I felt I needed a super hero. Twitter Crush was my crutch. A fantasy I could escape to when I needed repsite from the real world.


As with all fairy tales they have an ending.. When you dream, eventually you wake up. I am awake now. My eyes are open and I have finished typing out the last line on the last page of my fantasy novel. Twitter Crush is a real person with real frailties. The person I thought they were.... They really are not. The person I created doesn't exist. I clung on to the ideal of this perfect person only to be reminded that this phantom is fake. I am a tad bit sad as I mourn Twitter Crush, however it was past time for me to get a grip. Twitter Crush outstayed the welcome. I extended credit where it was unwarranted and undue. Twitter Crush is now dead, and the real person has been resurrected.


Thanks for the memories Twitter Crush wherever you are. You really helped me out through several rough patches in the past 18 or so months, but it is time to let you go. I did you a great disservice reshaping you into something and someone you are not. You were my crutch for quite a while.. Now it is time for me to walk alone. I hope you got as much out of our friendship as I did.


FIN
5:22 AM | Category: , | 0 comments

Crutches and Coping Mechanisms

It is no big secret that since the moment I put my high-heeled feet on Texas soil, I have been miserable. I gave it a chance. Hell I gave it many many chances o grow on me, but let’s face it. Texas is a culture all of its own. One I do not understand nor do I want to partake in. I just don’t fit in here and that is fine with me. For me to become a Texan would cause me to radically change the crux of who I am and that is just not going to happen. There is something to be said for fitting in or even making a situation work for you, but it shouldn’t be done at the cost of your immortal soul. At least, that is what I believe. With that said. The last year has been one of the roughest years I’ve had in Texas. That says a lot. Each year has been pretty taxing and full of challenges; however, last year was the worst yet. 

I should focus on the good things like the AMAZING trip to Italy and the wedding in Jamaica. Unfortunately, they can be overshadowed by the death of Willie and dealing with the demise of the marriage, which should have never been. Through it all, I found coping mechanisms. I am now forced to reevaluate my coping mechanisms and it has come abundantly clear (also with Anne’s help) some of my coping mechanisms are crutches.
I am the type of woman who needs a certain amount of male attention. Considering my ex never managed to get it right when it came to me and sensuality,  I suffered affection withdrawal. Actually I believe I became affection and touch anemic. I rarely had physical contact with other humans. Hugs and kisses of any type were as rare as unicorns. Sex.. Out of the question. In fact.. I can’t even pinpoint when I stopped having sex because it was just so lackluster between us anyway.. It landed in the “why bother” category pretty quickly into our marriage. But I digress. It finally got to the point where touching anyone outside of a handshake felt foreign to me. 

Soon even I noticed I was getting cold and jaded. I’ve always been a bit cool and aloof yet  I was shocked by how I would shrink from affection like a vampire from the sun. (Not the wack vampires in Twilight) So, I in acted a few coping mechanisms. I started talking to people on twitter A LOT. Through these twitter relationships; I managed to bond rather well with a few people. One in specific I ended up opening up completely to. I suppose I used them as my own personal therapist. It took about a few months but I was well on the road to recovery. All the internal dialogues I had with myself through the voice of the ex had pretty much been silenced. My self-esteem was most definitely on the mend. Unfortunately, my coping mechanism has turned into a crutch. 

I am so close to my twitter friend that I do not open myself up for the possibility of knowing people in real life. It is as if I have no need for anyone else. For the most part all of my emotional needs are being met by one person who lives in a galaxy far far away. I don’t feel the need to play Russian Roulette and try to bond with anyone else because I vibe so well with this person. I don't need anyone else.  The best part of our relationship is we are free to be exactly who we are. No best behavior bullshit because this relationship will go nowhere. Ever. We don’t live in the same time zone; we want different things out of life… Hell there is a myriad of other reasons why this will never go anywhere.. ever… failsafe built in. Even with failsafes there are still unwritten unspoken rules to this relationship. Imposed on both sides. We respect these regulations or so I thought.  

Then it dawned on me.. I need to let go of my crutch and walk on my own. I can’t keep hiding at home with the company of someone thousands of miles away. This person’s job is not to entertain me or cheer me up when I am down. They have their own life and it is not intertwined with mine. I am to them, just another person. Nobody of major importance. Just another tweep. So. I am going to put down my crutches and start walking on my own. It is going to be pretty difficult at first because I have become so dependent on them.  I almost believe I have relationship scurvy. Luckily, radical change is my specialty. So. Onward and outward. No more spending time at home reading books and watching copious amounts of television.  It is time to premiere the new and improving me to the world.  It is time to meet people. In real life. I am grateful for my crutches, but I can't be so dependent on them. After all crutches don't need the infirm. They are self sufficient as I am learning to be.
FIN
6:11 AM | Category: , | 3 comments

aftershock

I have completed my blog entry for the night and it struck me like a bolt of lightening or the drugs Nurse Jackie seems to enjoy taking. Everyone reveals a bit of themselves through the social media sites. But each site reveals only a facet of one's personality. On MySpace I am who people believe me to be through clues or inferences on my page. I think I have visited MySpace oh... about 1 time in the last 7 months. On Facebook I am the person people think they know. My page is littered with people I actually know in real life. Just different snapshots of my life. So the girl people knew in High School is not the same person others knew in college and is not the person people worked with at Duke which is definitely not the person I am now. However, each Facebook friend is rooted in the piece of me they believe they know. Now Twitter.. My beloved twitter. I am the snarkiest bitch on twitter you ever want to see. I shield ALL people I know in real life from the Twitter me. On Twitter I just tweet random silly thoughts into an overly crowded room and wait for replies. I've made connections deeper than some relationships out here in the real world on twitter with people I will never ever see. I like that. Meeting them might ruin the mystique then I would be disappointed. Real life people disappoint you all of the time and there is no "block" button for them. So on twitter I am very candid. My blog. Oh how I love my blog. I neglect it, write when I am moved, and congest it with things I don't tell anyone. My blog is my innermost secret self. The one few people know about. My life is fractured into shards containing different parts of myself. This blog, is the only pure representative of what I am thinking. And nobody on Facebook or MySpace even knows it exists. And that is just how I like it.
10:48 PM | Category: , , | 5 comments