Prince wrote no truer words than "I can't make you love me if you don't.. I can't make your heart feel something it won't". This lyric can be applied to so many things. From vegan food which totally can't make me love it no matter what to relationships with people. Matters of the heart are so arduous and I am not speaking of romantic matters solely. Even friendships can be laborious. No matter what you do, you cannot make someone care about you if they don't.

Spending copious amounts of money will only leave you financially strapped. Losing weight will provide you with a healthier frame, yet the emotional damage of the rejection which looms around the corner doesn't offset the benefits of the weight loss. Eventually emotional eating will win out and the weight will return like a scorching case of herpes. Devoting lots of time and energy to the person will make you look desperate. Thirsty even. Doormat. Easily used. None are enviably places to reside. Yes. There is no way to make someone give a damn about you if they don't.

Lately I feel like I am in the gruel line for attention from a friend. I get the minuscule allotted amount of consideration and like Oliver Twist I find myself begging for more. "Please Sir.. May I have somemore?" Please like me.. Please pay attention to me... Please approve of me.. I will do anything.. Change everything... Transform into perfection's perfection. Just to be validated.  Why am I here? Why am I in this place?

Friendships should be mutual. Not one person bearing the burden of a friendship like Atlas with the world on his back. Two way streets don't have a singular car doing all of the driving. If I want any contact with my friend I am the one who always has to call or text or set up a lunch or meeting. Then.. Like clockwork.. It is canceled. I don't even get the graciousness of a phone call a day or even hours in advance. Instead I wait and wait and wait till I finally break down and call them AGAIN to get the something has come up thing. Well. Not anymore. I don't run programs like that. I am not going to let anyone devalue my friendship. If my dog and pony show aren't appreciated I am just going to pack it up and move on to another more agreeable town.

I have been known in my day to cut people off cold. So thoroughly I actually forget they exist and when people question me about said person, I usually have a blank stare reaction. I think it is time to pull out my old playbook. Reciprocity is important.  Unlike Bernie in Waiting to Exhale, if I am not getting what I need, I am damn sure not going to give anyone what they want much less need either. Hell.. I feel better already. Dead weight was been lifted off my shoulders. I have more time and energy to dedicate to the people who deserve it. There is a Herculean test to be worthy enough to be part of the Circle of Trust but once you are in the rewards are great. However, unlike a roach motel, once you are in you can get kicked out.

FIN