Monday morning in Atlanta was beautiful. A bit rainy but the weather was warm and our spirits were high. Cupcakes were waiting for us at Sweet Pockets Cupcakes! We were greeted by the most gracious darling cupcake ever! She was kind enough to explain all of the flavors and suggest which ones were popular. Luckily they had mini cupcakes so we were able to taste one of everything. And boy was I glad. My favorite was the mint chocolate. It was as if I were eating a Girl Scout cookie. So delish! Our blood sugar levels were through the roof so we decided to walk off some of the energy through… shopping.. At… AN OUTLET MALL!
Atlanta has quite a few of them so we chose wisely. By this time we were seriously scrutinizing each and every purchase. The tiniest flaw would cause a garment to be left in the store. Unless the item was under $10 which was the case for our new $5 shorts from American Eagle Outfitters. On the way into the outlets, I noticed a Krystal’s hamburger joint. Anne had never partaken of these delicious mini burgers of which I had raved about for years. My family is originally from Nashville, so we are Krystal hamburger people rather than White Castle. The mini hamburger debate happens to be pretty divisive. Either people are on Team Krystal (the correct team) or Team White Castle (the ridiculous team). We dined on the finest mini burgers ever and I even had a chili pup.. Mini chilidogs are oh so good!
I drove from Atlanta to my Momma’s house in North Carolina. Along the way we resisted going to the last 2 outlet malls we passed. I had called earlier and informed my Mother we would be expecting southern hospitality, which means.. Peach Cobbler and homemade ice cream.. We got.. Nothing.. Mom instructed us to pick up dinner because she “had been waiting all day for us and was HUNGRY”. The prodigal daughter triumphantly returns home and gets orders for take out. Although I would have loved my Mom’s home cooking I also love love love love love North Carolina BBQ. Living in Texas I never get pulled pork BBQ with cole slaw. Ah. How I love thee. Anne is a fan of it as well, sans cole slaw. I happily ate hers!
And there you have it folks. Cupcakes Across America.. 10 states 5 days 2 chicks 1 car 0 tickets.
We got a lateish start in Shreveport, leaving the hotel about 11 or so. Anne still smarting for missing out on Popeye’s, had her heart set on beignets. I found a bakery which specialized in all sorts of Louisiana pastries. We made the short drive to the bakery only to be met with.. A CLOSED SIGN. Foiled again.. They aren’t open on Sundays. So the dynamic duo pressed on towards Atlanta. I assured Anne there were tons of Popeye’s along the way as they are on every corner in Louisiana. Well.. I was wrong.. The next Popeye’s we saw was in Alabama. Oh well.. We are going to New Orleans for her birthday. She can have all the Popeye’s she wants then.
We stopped for lunch at a restaurant with a packed parking lot. It was our contention the food must be excellent here considering you couldn’t find a parking space to save your life. We just knew we were in for some slamming Cajun food. Boy were we mistaken! The restaurant specialized in….. TEX MEX! Uh.. We are in Louisiana people! Anne’s face crumpled into a tiny ball of disappointment. I suggested we get the fried shrimp, as surely that can’t be Tex Mexed.. And. For the first time that day.. I was RIGHT! The shrimp was amazing. Cajun fried spicy shrimp for us!
Outside the forgettable eatery
After lunch we drove into the night. Alabama to Georgia. My friend Jen promised us safe haven on the Underground Cupcake Railroad. Fortunately, she lives by herself so showing up at 12 AM wasn’t a problem. Jen was an excellent hostess. I had not seen her in over 20 years but it was as if we were in middle school again. We teased each other mercilessly well into the night. Then.. She brought out our yearbook. Horror of horrors! My hair was so tragic back then.. Jen and I bored Anne to sleep laughing like rabid hyenas at people’s middle school pictures then looking them up on FB. Needless to say, some people did NOT age well.. The next morning Jen was generous to make breakfast for us although she is on a strict diet. Annnnnd we were off to our next cupcake destination.
Day 4 and we finally make it out of the desert. Texas is an enormous state. It took us two days and a whole bottle of Maker's Mark to get to the other side. My GOD! If I never ever drive from one side of Texas to the other it will be entirely too soon. Our adventures in East Texas were less traumatizing to me than they were for Anne… There was a point when I told her to “run away and live to tell the story.. I will sacrifice myself for you!” The only way to confront situations like those is through humor.. And the Maker's Mark mentioned earlier.
Our time in Texas was riddled with disappointment. Total and utter disappointment. Anne and I had a leisurely lunch with some new friends from twitter. (Yes we actually meet people on twitter) Then we attempted to obtain cupcakes in Dallas from Society Bakery. Unfortunately, we were a tad late. They closed up shop on us minutes before we got there. I was completely tempted to hold up a sign, which said “Drove all the way from California to taste your cake” but upon further consideration thought it was somewhat pornographic Then again.. My humor is somewhat pornographic at times. I took pictures of Society Bakery and wowed people outside who were inquisitive about what I was doing. Driving from coast to coast eating cupcakes seems to be a laudable cause these days. Yay us for thinking about it.
www.societybakery.com
or
@societybakery on twitter
To deal with the crushing disappointment of missing cupcakes at Society Bakery (we skipped Sprinkles in Dallas.. If you have been to one Sprinkles Cupcakes, you have been to them all. Their product is very consistent) we decided to go to yet.. ANOTHER OUTLET MALL!
You may refer to me as Lucky Luckster as I happened upon a Burberry sample sale. Typically I am not a big Burberry person, however I have always wanted a pink Burberry scarf. Annnnnnnnnnd.. I found one! Best part.. It was 50 smackers! The disgruntled employees of the Burberry sample sale were busily complaining about having to constantly fold and straighten the store. As if I don’t know.. Burberry was paying them to solve the Health Care Crisis or something. I would have stayed longer to unearth more treasure, but the tranny sales associate was sorta scary and Anne deserted me to scower Banana Republic. So I left with my prized scarf in bag.
More than likely if you follow my blog you read Anne’s as well so will let her recount the story of the jankey GPS. After our Best Buy stop we left Dallas. I wasn’t feeling well so Anne took the helm and drove to Shreveport, Louisiana.. Anne said as soon as she crossed the Louisiana border she wanted Popeye’s fried chicken. IF you have ever had Popeye’s chicken in Louisiana you know why she was pressed. Unfortunately all of the Popeye’s were closed for the night. My favorite sound bite of the evening was “I’m so hungry I could cry”. (LMAO) I wasn’t. I had self-medicated on whiskey (whiskey is the cure all) and was like Sade, feeling no pain. I intended on blogging that night but passed out with my bunny ears on my head into a blissful whiskey infused slumber.
Soo.. Day three.. We left Phoenix, Arizona quite early. Dark thirty as my Dad loved to call it.. I took the first leg of the drive and let Anne catch some more ZZZZZ's. I must say the drive to Tucson was uneventful UNTIL we decided to stop in a small town for breakfast. Duh duh duh..... Then our fearless heroes encounter... Racism. Our waitress barely wanted to seat us although the diner was completely empty. Secondly we were made to feel as if we interrupted her day by even having the nerve to actually eat in the establishment. Once our food came, so did the check to signify we needed to leave as soon as we possibly can. Sooo.. We scarfed down our meals and hit the road. Oddly enough.. The chicken fried steak I had (don't judge me) was one of the best I've ever tasted. Anne took the next leg of the trip and drove to El Paso Texas. By this time it was lunch and deciding to not take any chances we dined at Red Lobster. We both had Hurricanes to take the edge off.
I reminded Anne that the trip was not just Hello Kitty but also the cupcake takes America tour.. So we checked the blog cupcake takes the cake and found a local cupcake bakery. The people were uber friendly. Anne and I ordered 3 cupcakes with the intention to share. Pink Lemonade (recommended by Cupcake Takes the Cake) Red Velvet, and Boston Creme. The pink lemonade sucked. Bad. I ate the frosting. I had a few bites of the red velvet. Neither of us bothered with the boston creme. It is currently in the car.
Annnnnd away we go again.. During the drive to Dallas we noticed a HUGE shanty town next to the highway. Both of us commented on how the town looked like poverty in OTHER countries, not American poverty. Lo and behold.. We were right next to Juarez, Mexico. Everyone has seen the news reports of people getting kidnapped in border towns. I put the pedal to the medal. We are too cute to be sold into slavery. Plus considering we are both minorities, it would have been redundant. I love highway 10 because the speed limit was 80 miles and hour which gave me license to drive.... 98 miles an hour. We made excellent time.
One thing I noticed about Texas... There are a lot of prisons here. LOTS. So far I have counted 7! What the hell! We made an extremely brief stop in Midland, Texas and got our second helping of "you do not belong here" for the day. We are getting weary of being in situations like this. There should be a map given to minorities highlighting towns we need not stop. Now we are in Starbucks using the free internet. Our next stop on the cupcake railroad doesn't have internet.. But they do have Jack Daniels. Next stop Dallas, Texas!
weird factoid of the day.. Both of us know every single patriotic song and sang them at the top of our lungs for miles and miles.
SO. Day two of the great cross country adventure. We left Orange County mid morning headed to Phoenix to see a friend of mine. The original plan was to meet for lunch.. Thennn.. Well we found the outlet mall. Desert Hills Outlet Mall to be exact.. A shopper's Mecca!
Gucci and Dior and Jimmy Choo OH MY! Needless to say.. We spent over four hours there. Soooo.. Lunch became dinner.. Then well.. We sorta stopped again and dinner became.. Nothing.. By the time we called to say we were in town, we got.. Snake eyes.. I suppose we should have kept them abreast of our tomfoolery.. So. Here we are in a motel spending the night. The sheets are scratchy like newspaper but, we are happily drinking Maker's Mark and Coke tweeting away.
Oddly enough, seeing my friends would have been great, but I am still having a good time. So long California. The Hello Kitty Crew are headed East and not looking back. I am amazed Anne managed to sleep through my rendition of Eye of the Tiger considering I can't reach the high notes to save my life. We ARE however, looking for more Outlet Malls. Don't forget cupcakes!
I am about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime! My bestie and I are going to drive cross country. LA to VA.. How much fun can that be? Outlet Malls.. Cupcake boutiques... 4 days.. 2 chicks.. 1 car... Who will loose their patience first? Wait and see! Stay tuned for blogs from the road. I have seen so much of the world and precious little of America. It was hard saying bye to Puppykins, however I am sure he will be fine as long as his meals are delivered in a timely manner. Already I have run into an irritant as I had to pay $50 smackers because my luggage was overweight by 16 pounds. If people had to pay for extra poundage.. There would be no national debt. So. Me. Anne. My uber cute pink luggage and my new tangerine and hot pink Kate Spade bag are off to see America one mile at a time. I wanted to do an Oprah and Gayle theme.. We kept fighting about who got to be Oprah.. Uh.. I'M OPRAH! I WANNNA BE OPRAH! The Thelma and Louise movie didn't end well so please no references. Wish us luck! I am wearing my lucky jade bracelet. (Also new) Oh yeah.. **Whispers** I'm Oprah..
For the life of me.. I can't figure out how something as tiny and cute as this
Go nuts.. tear up a room (which I will not show you due to embarrassment) and attack my toe all within the blink of an eye. I am shocked my angel turned into this devil
Music can change a mood almost immediately. It has the power of invoking emotions of happiness, joy, sadness, passion, anger, or even frustration. It runs the gambit of all human emotions then goes beyond what can be described through the lexicon of words. For every mood, there is a song to accompany it. Music is a way to express yourself without the constraints of conversation. No one is immune to the power of music.
With this concept in mind, I capitalize upon the power of music. When I am feeling like the total ickness I put on my uber sexy self esteem building playlist. In a flash I feel as if I can conquer the world. Take my advice an make your own playlist to get out of a funky mood. It is cheaper than therapy AND doesn't add weight like chocolate. I will share my playlist. The songs are all over the place in genre but hey.. I am a random type of girl.
Oracle's Uber Sexy Playlist
One from A Chorus Line
Whatever Lola Wants by Sarah Vaughn
Halle Berry She's So Fine by Hurricane Chris (random)
Beautiful by Snoop Dogg
One Thing by Amerie
Bang Bang Bang Bang by John Lee Hooker
The Best of What's Around by The Dave Matthew's Band
Black Magic Woman by Santana
Blood Sugar Sex Magik by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
Come-on A My House by Rosemerry Clooney
Eh Hee by The Dave Matthew's Band
Even Flow by Pearl Jam
Eye of the Tiger by Survivor
Foxey Lady by Jimi Hendrix
The Girl from Ipanema by Eartha Kitt
Girls Girls Girls by Jay Z
Gold Digger by Kanye West
Human Nature by Madonna
Incense and Candles by Prince
Landslide by Stevie Nicks
Material Girl by Madonna
The Most Beautiful Girl in the World by Prince
Mouth by Bush
My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas (don't hold it against me)
No Scrubs by TLC
Overnight Scenario by Rare Essence
P.Y.T buy Michael Jackson
Pink Cashmere by Prince
Roc Boys by Jay Z
Rock Yo Hips by Crime Mob
See Me In The Club by Timberland
Super Freak by Rick James
Whip Appeal by Babyface
#!@ You Tonight by R Kelly and The Notorious BIG
You Want This by Janet Jackson
There is a phenomenon going around called Wordless Wednesday. I love looking at interesting pictures people post and instead of reading exactly what someone is thinking, to use my own presumptions to figure out what they are feeling. Anyway. I have this aversion to being a Sally Candypants and rarely express my feelings if they are anywhere near the realm of sappy emotional melodrama silliness. Subsequently that doesn't negate me from having my moments. So. My contribution. A bit different. My Wordless Wednesday which is actually FULL of words. Oh yeah.. And it is not Wednesday anymore.
FIN
My favorite birthday gift and the most meaningful was a Coach purse from my boyfriend at the time back when we were in college. I have NO idea how he managed to afford it. He sacrificed a lot to get me the purse. I adored him for it.
What man do you admire most and why and what woman do you admire most and why?
The woman I most admire is my Mother. She is everything in a perfect world I would be. Chartable, kind, graceful, stylish, generous, lady like, and clever as hell. My Mother set a great example unfortunately, it is too hard to imulate. As far as a man I admire most.. Still looking.
I do believe in soulmates, just not in the conventional sense. It is my belief that we have all lived previous lives and in this current one run into people we have known before to work out karma. Some people you have an instant connection with, and always feel comfortable with. These were people from past lives you perhaps had good rapport. I think people MISTAKE this comfort for soul mates. However, I do believe in twin souls. But that is another question.
Everywhere I look the big cooperate machine is gearing up for Valentine's Day. Red and pink everything everywhere. I can't even check my e-mail without being bombarded with advertisements for chocolate, flowers, and jewelry. Instead of a feeling of joy and excitement for the 14th of February, mixed emotions are careening in my psyche. Number one, since I've been married I have NEVER EVER had a good Valentine's Day. It turned into a day of such great disappointment that I would tense up February 1st and run though the month with my emotions in deep freeze covered by armor of ridicule for the holiday. The truth is. I love Valentine's Day. For years and years pre-marriage, I totally enjoyed the holiday. Being married to a person who doesn't get it, well... Slowly but surely ruined it for me.
The wonderful Valentine's Days of the past are such a distant memory I am starting to believe they were movies which I internalized. Surely nothing romantic and over the top ever ever happened to me. Surely NOT! Another byproduct of the illfated nuptials is I do NOT believe in romance at all. I just do not think it exists. When confronted with real life examples of it I have violent temper tantrums fueled by unbridled jealously. I paid my dues putting the needs of another many many light years before mine, and for that... I got.. NOTHING.. So.. Here we are. T-minus 13 days till the day of doom. A day I am reminded I kept putting coins in the cosmic slot machine of love and romance. All to no avail. There will be no fancy romantic dinner, exquisite box of chocolate, enormous bouquet of Black Magic Roses, diamonds twinkling at me from a velvet box.. No.. Nope.. None of that. I DO however have a puppy who loves me beyond belief, so perhaps true love is a great trade off for material things. Too bad I am a tad materialistic.
FIN
Why the absentminded oracle? I have an uncanny ability to predict the future. The problem is after I say something I forget I said it. So, these gem predictions only help people clever enough to pay attention when I am talkative. These predictions range from winning lottery numbers to the death of a person. They are all over the board. The monkey paw of this is, once again, I don't recall saying ANYTHING until someone reminds me what I said. Then, a mixture of creeped-out and pride overtake me.
