From the moment I met him.. I was in LOVE. His brown eyes drew me in and I was his from that moment on. He was the love of my life. We never argued.. We never fought.. He rarely got on my nerves. He knew my moods. Basically we were the perfect couple. After all.. We basically grew up together. He was my longest continuous relationship. We have been together for over 15 years. I have never loved anything as much as I loved him. He.. Is my dog Willie.
Photo By AnneKinLA
Unfortunately time is not as good to animals as it is to humans. Earlier this year he had a stroke and basically went down hill from there. For a dog, Willie lived quite a long time. 17 years. 17 YEARS! I am still stunned how life is so different without him. I can barely write this post because I am still so raw inside without Willie. He was there for me no matter what. He didn’t punch a clock or take time off. He didn’t complain or have an agenda. He just loved me. Unconditionally. Human love is quite conditional. I thought I would never ever ever get another dog again. But. After 7 months, I think I am ready to love again.
Halloween 2008
I think it is time. He wouldn’t want me to be alone. He ALSO didn’t want to share me either so I never got another pet while he was alive. We had an understanding. Willie was the sole recipient of my attention. The dog hunt began several months ago. I did lots of research and talked to dozens of people on twitter about breeds, temperament.. Anything puppy I was all over. After much deliberation, I picked a Boston Terrier. (Thanks to mintlipgloss on twitter)
I have been looking at breeders diligently for a few months and got overwhelmed. Finally it came down to the birth date of the dog. I KNEW there were certain traits that I didn’t want in a dog. There are certain signs I just don’t want to live with. (GEMINI) You just can’t divorce a dog. Well you can.. But I’m not so capricious when it comes to responsibility. Naming him was also a bit of a challenge. I was lucky enough to stumble upon a breeder (sub puppy mill if you are talking to Anne) who had a litter due in November. It must have been written in the stars, a male puppy was born on November 10th. Considering one of my best friends (who I get along so easily with you would think we are the same person) was born on the 12th, a November 10th puppy seemed like a good choice. A SCORPIO PUPPY! Said friend was HORRIFIED at the thought of me naming the dog after him.. HORRIFIED!
I sent my deposit and now will be able to pick up my baby in January.. What did I name him you ask? Considering I am a psych and just a bit neurotic.. I named him FRAISER CRAIN! Tee hee hee..
Introducing the New Love of My Life
FRAISER CRAIN WALKER
In LOVING MEMORY
WILLIE WONKA WALKER
Photo by AnneKinLA
2:58 PM |
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I work in an office environment where coffee is GOD. Well. If there is anything above GOD that is what coffee would be. It is taken quite seriously. If staff doesn’t make a fresh pot of coffee when the existing pot is low.. well let’s just say I am shocked people escape the scuffle with their body parts intact. It is just that serious. Before working here, I was more of a Coke girl. Now that I am working overnights, I need something to get me over the 4am sleepy hump. (Since learning the building is “haunted” I have decided to forgo all naps in the rec room till further notice) Normally I would reach for a Coke, but now it is coffee.
I don’t exactly know what they put in the coffee but to say it is potent is to say Hurricane Ike was a small thunder shower. The coffee could most-likely be used as fuel for your vehicle. It could fly jet planes! It is STRONG. After three sips you could run a marathon, write an award winning novel, bake better than Martha Stewart, and find Bin Laden. This concoction gives you not only the energy, but the confidence you can do anything. I call it the magic elixir. It can make the blind see! Hell.. Once I drank half a cup then went on a stroll outside and could have sworn I saw every crater on the moon.
Now that I have adapted to the coffee culture, I am searching for a cool mug. People are possessive about these mugs too. If they catch another person using their own personal mug.. well… Can we say epic battle? There is a creepy voice saying “well done” or “finish him” or “flawless victory” like Mortal Kombat. As keeping with my tradition of loving everything pink and hello kitty, I am hunting around the internet for the perfect Hello Kitty mug. One.. I love Hello Kitty and two.. It will keep the men from using it by “mistake”. Although I have been itching to try out my restraint hold moves!
6:54 PM |
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The saying when a door closes, God opens a window is an old adage I am not sure I can put full faith in right now. Recently I found out the one true love of my life has a girlfriend. Yay him. Boo me. What a direct blow to my heart. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for him as he is such a great guy he deserves all the happiness the world has to offer, but there is a selfish part of me which is completely crushed. Like.. Seriously.. Crushed coal into a diamond crushed. Egocentric Oracle, that’s me. I never claimed to be a saint. I tend to stick to what I am good at; focusing on me seems to be working quite well post-divorce.
I’ve always believed once the marriage was finally over, I would move back to the East Coast, and start my life over..Fresh.. Renewed… Focused.. In this scenario, he would come riding up on a white horse (or in his case a black SUV) and sweep me away to my fairy tale happy ending. I mean come on.. I suffered over 5 years. I have paid my dues. Cue happy ending please, complete with cheery music and a blue bird on my shoulder. Alas, this is not going to happen, which leaves me to wonder what is next.. I like to plan things out. In fact, my plan A’s have sub plans and the sub plans have sub plans which have contingency plans that lead to plan B’s.. Like the shampoo commercial, and so on and so on and so on.. I don’t have a plan B. It never occurred to me that we wouldn’t eventually be together. Hell. Psycho me, I even had an R inscribed on my Tiffany bracelet as I KNEW my new last name would start with an “R”. Totally psycho. But not as bad as the chick on Say Yes to the Dress who bought a wedding dress but has no groom or even any prospects. PSYCHO!
So now. What am I going to do? Leaving Texas is not an option. That is totally going to go down. I don’t believe in needless suffering. The love of my life has moved on. Ok. Got it. Time to think of ANOTHER master plan. The door has been shut in my face. Slammed.. There is lipstick on the door.. I know now that we will never get back together. Check off of list. Now I am stuck in the room with the padlocked door and impatiently waiting for a window to appear. Hell, the window doesn’t need to be opened for me. My new contingency plan includes a crowbar for me to smash the window wide open and get out all by myself.
7:32 PM |
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